How to have great sex more often is a question I get from men? Women also want more sex but they don't feel their lives help. Stress, work, housekeeping, and looking after the kids don't really get them in the right mood, so the chances of them feeling like it are greatly diminished.
Sex is so important to our relationships. Most relationships become distant when sex becomes less and many end. So if you don't have sex, prepare for problems.
For men, sex is the way that they can show their partner how much they love them. This is what men need to be able to respond to a woman emotionally (therefore it's critical for a man) and a woman needs emotion to be able to respond to a man sexually.
When they are both in tune i.e. having fun and enjoying each other, sex is usually great, but then an argument strikes, both are usually hell bent on being right until one backs down and says sorry or they both might just brush it under the carpet. If the man says he is sorry, he will immediately want to show his partner his love for her through sex. A woman's response is "you have got to be kidding me... you think that I'm in the mood for sex after that display from you!" So the goal is to create the right emotions and the chance of sex increasing is very high.
One of the ways I help couples to engage with each other is to create a scenario that they can both feel good about and share. When they first met is usually a great example. I get couples to talk about their first date! When this happens, I watch the spark re-enter two people that entered the room looking depressed about life. I watch them get excited and laugh about that day. The mood in the room changes. It is this change of mood that you are after.
Try it and see what happens.
Step one. Start to think about your first date now! Take yourself back to that day. Remember how you felt before your date and then play the date just like a movie in your mind. Recount all the things that happened, what was said, the place you went to and how you tried to work out if your date liked you.
Step two. As soon as possible text or phone your partner and tell them you have been thinking about the first day you both met. This will immediately focus your partner on that day, and images and feelings will pop into there head throughout the day.
Step three. When you get home and you get a moment together, start to talk about that day. Make sure you keep the focus of the conversation on the positives of that day and keep the conversation away from the negative differences between your relationship back then and today if he or she brings them up!
Step four. Re-create that first date. Take your partner back to the same place (if possible) and do it as a surprise! Try to remember exactly what was said and reminisce together. The chance of you both feeling fantastic are very high and you will notice a shift in your relationship.
The chances of great sex are now much higher, but this was not the real goal. The real goal is to get your relationship re-ignited. It works! Go ahead, learn how to have great sex and try it today.
Subscribe free to DatingsShoes today at http://www.datingshoes.com & get the best infomation on creating relationships that last. If you have any relationship stories you would like published then send them to feedback@datingshoes.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Hedger
Showing posts with label how to have good sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to have good sex. Show all posts
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
How To Have Great Sex | Get Rid of Sex Gremlins and Boost Your Libido
Gremlins-little mischievous creatures blamed for wreaking havoc and sabotage in aircraft during WWII. They gained widespread familiarity by the Merrie Melodies animated short film Falling Hare featuring Bugs Bunny.
These mythical gremlins were blamed for unexplainable mechanical failures in aircraft. Pilots even reported seeing the little creatures (most likely do to hallucinations brought on by battle fatigue and or oxygen deprivation).
Today I want to tell you about sex gremlins-little mischievous proteins that can wreak havoc and sabotage your sex drive. The big difference is sex gremlins are in fact real!
The medical community calls them SHBG or Sex Hormone Binding Globulin. The reason these little buggers are such a problem is they bind up free testosterone. This is the type of testosterone men and women both need to realize the positive benefits of testosterone (increased muscle and bone density, more energy, better immune function and a stronger libido to name a few).
The bad thing about SHBG is it has a strong attraction to testosterone. And the more testosterone it binds up means less is available for use in your body. This is usually not big deal until you reach your 40's. After the age of 40 the amount of testosterone produced by your body (by the testicles in men and the ovaries in women) begins to decline at roughly 1 percent per year.
This decline in testosterone production after the age of 40 and the effects of SHBG, no doubt contribute to the middle age spread and loss of libido men experience and the weight gain and loss of interest in sex many women associate with menopause.
The good thing is you can take steps to keep your testosterone levels up and reduce your levels of SHBG and their sex hormone binding effects (this means more free testosterone to keep you looking and feeling sexy and full of life). And thus reaping the benefits of your bodies own testosterone.
Ways to keep your testosterone levels up and SHBG down:
* Maintain a healthy weight: Excess fat increases estrogen production (in both men and women) and estrogen signals the body to produce less testosterone.
* Avoid alcohol: alcohol inhibits the body's ability to remove estrogen (think beer belly) and it depletes your body of zinc.
* Reduce stress levels: Stress elevates cortisol levels which in turn lowers testosterone levels.
* Avoid synthetic hormones such as estrogen and progesterone (e.g. the Pill): they reduce your body's lutenizing hormone levels which effects your natural hormone production.
* Insulin resistance: studies suggest a link to type 2 diabetes and low testosterone. Insulin resistance is the primary cause of type 2 diabetes and metabolic disorder. Cut the carbs!
* Low fat diets: forget all the hype about eating a low fat diet. High carbohydrate consumption and insulin resistance causes your body to store fat. Low fat diets increase SHGB.
* Eat the right kind of fats: Avoid soybean oil (also called vegetable oil to sneak it past you) like the plague (effects estrogen levels). Your body makes testosterone from cholesterol; eat monounsaturated fats like olive oil, peanut oil and canola oil. Don't be afraid to eat some saturated fats in moderation such as butter and cream. Think of French cooking-uses a ton of butter, cream and eggs, but the French are generally thin. It ain't the fat making folks fat.
* Get plenty of rest: sleep deprivation and over exertion increases cortisol levels.
* Get plenty of Vitamin C: Reduces the release of cortisol. Less cortisol equals more testosterone. Don't use OJ for your C. Way too much sugar in oranges.
* Exercise correctly: forget the aerobic class and hours of mindless treadmill work. Resistance training is the way to go. Recent studies show both men and women benefit the most from 2 sets of 6 to 8 repetitions of a heavy weight (about 85% of your maximum). Use basic core moves (like squats, chest presses, etc.). Don't worry ladies you won't bulk up (unless you're using steroids). Whose legs would you rather have? A 40 meter sprinter's or a marathon runner's? I'll take the sprinter's legs! Brief and intense exercise is what you want.
Get rid of the sex gremlins (SHBG) and stop wreaking havoc with your libido. Menopause and middle age isn't killing your libido-you are (and the sex gremlins)!
Now get busy and exterminate those sex gremlins and enjoy life again (and sex too).
For more tips on boosting your sex life, download my free guide, 'Your Tips to a Healthy Happy Sex Life Guide' here: Your Tips to a Healthy Happy Sex Life Guide .
David Christian Solomon is an independent writer/researcher dedicated to helping people enjoy healthy happy lives through the use of nutrition, diet, exercise and lifestyle choices. He is the author of the Easy Orgasm Diet: How to Restore, Revive and Release Your Orgasms book which details how to use nutrition and simple exercises to naturally increase a woman's arousal, desire and enjoyment of sex.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Solomon
These mythical gremlins were blamed for unexplainable mechanical failures in aircraft. Pilots even reported seeing the little creatures (most likely do to hallucinations brought on by battle fatigue and or oxygen deprivation).
Today I want to tell you about sex gremlins-little mischievous proteins that can wreak havoc and sabotage your sex drive. The big difference is sex gremlins are in fact real!
The medical community calls them SHBG or Sex Hormone Binding Globulin. The reason these little buggers are such a problem is they bind up free testosterone. This is the type of testosterone men and women both need to realize the positive benefits of testosterone (increased muscle and bone density, more energy, better immune function and a stronger libido to name a few).
The bad thing about SHBG is it has a strong attraction to testosterone. And the more testosterone it binds up means less is available for use in your body. This is usually not big deal until you reach your 40's. After the age of 40 the amount of testosterone produced by your body (by the testicles in men and the ovaries in women) begins to decline at roughly 1 percent per year.
This decline in testosterone production after the age of 40 and the effects of SHBG, no doubt contribute to the middle age spread and loss of libido men experience and the weight gain and loss of interest in sex many women associate with menopause.
The good thing is you can take steps to keep your testosterone levels up and reduce your levels of SHBG and their sex hormone binding effects (this means more free testosterone to keep you looking and feeling sexy and full of life). And thus reaping the benefits of your bodies own testosterone.
Ways to keep your testosterone levels up and SHBG down:
* Maintain a healthy weight: Excess fat increases estrogen production (in both men and women) and estrogen signals the body to produce less testosterone.
* Avoid alcohol: alcohol inhibits the body's ability to remove estrogen (think beer belly) and it depletes your body of zinc.
* Reduce stress levels: Stress elevates cortisol levels which in turn lowers testosterone levels.
* Avoid synthetic hormones such as estrogen and progesterone (e.g. the Pill): they reduce your body's lutenizing hormone levels which effects your natural hormone production.
* Insulin resistance: studies suggest a link to type 2 diabetes and low testosterone. Insulin resistance is the primary cause of type 2 diabetes and metabolic disorder. Cut the carbs!
* Low fat diets: forget all the hype about eating a low fat diet. High carbohydrate consumption and insulin resistance causes your body to store fat. Low fat diets increase SHGB.
* Eat the right kind of fats: Avoid soybean oil (also called vegetable oil to sneak it past you) like the plague (effects estrogen levels). Your body makes testosterone from cholesterol; eat monounsaturated fats like olive oil, peanut oil and canola oil. Don't be afraid to eat some saturated fats in moderation such as butter and cream. Think of French cooking-uses a ton of butter, cream and eggs, but the French are generally thin. It ain't the fat making folks fat.
* Get plenty of rest: sleep deprivation and over exertion increases cortisol levels.
* Get plenty of Vitamin C: Reduces the release of cortisol. Less cortisol equals more testosterone. Don't use OJ for your C. Way too much sugar in oranges.
* Exercise correctly: forget the aerobic class and hours of mindless treadmill work. Resistance training is the way to go. Recent studies show both men and women benefit the most from 2 sets of 6 to 8 repetitions of a heavy weight (about 85% of your maximum). Use basic core moves (like squats, chest presses, etc.). Don't worry ladies you won't bulk up (unless you're using steroids). Whose legs would you rather have? A 40 meter sprinter's or a marathon runner's? I'll take the sprinter's legs! Brief and intense exercise is what you want.
Get rid of the sex gremlins (SHBG) and stop wreaking havoc with your libido. Menopause and middle age isn't killing your libido-you are (and the sex gremlins)!
Now get busy and exterminate those sex gremlins and enjoy life again (and sex too).
For more tips on boosting your sex life, download my free guide, 'Your Tips to a Healthy Happy Sex Life Guide' here: Your Tips to a Healthy Happy Sex Life Guide .
David Christian Solomon is an independent writer/researcher dedicated to helping people enjoy healthy happy lives through the use of nutrition, diet, exercise and lifestyle choices. He is the author of the Easy Orgasm Diet: How to Restore, Revive and Release Your Orgasms book which details how to use nutrition and simple exercises to naturally increase a woman's arousal, desire and enjoyment of sex.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Solomon
Thursday, April 17, 2008
10 Methods To Heat Up Your Foreplay | How To Have Great Sex
Learn and share the methods of spicing up your sexual activities. True enough heat creates fire, and if there is fire, intimacy and passion flares up causing a hot, steamy lovemaking.
• Less talk, more Kiss
Never underestimate the power of a kiss; it's where it all started anyway. Some couples just forgot how the intimacy works; kissing is one way of getting more intimate and passionate. Start with a soft, light kiss on the upper lip, then feel the tension heats up and there will be groping and kissing all over the place. Don't talk while you're kissing. Kiss the lips, going to the ears and down to the neck - and who knows where else to go down to.
• The art of Undressing
Show some sneak peak of your body by undressing some parts of your body then let your partner do it for you. Remember to take it slow. Undressing fast takes away all the excitement.
• Filthy Talks
Let's face it, talking dirty turns us ON. Most of the guys gets turned on by what they see and most women by what they hear and feel. Still dirty talks spices up the process of lovemaking.
• Massage your way to the Big-O
Start with a simple massage on the hand or the back. Let your imagination flow, try massaging your partner using your tongue or any part of your body. Rub your body against your partner and see what happens!
• Dance together
It takes two people to do this, even if you are totally aroused but your partner isn't then all these foreplay isn't going anywhere. Women usually don't like to be just groped and start doing the thing. What woman wants is too cuddle and kiss and eventually leads to steamy SEX.
• Always think it's the First time
This for sure will always give you an experience you never had. Thinking you'll be doing it for the first time always excites you enough to give you an orgasm.
• Places you've never tried
Try new locations you haven't had sex before. Like around the house - kitchen, garage, or even in your front lawn. Fill up your fantasies; some may want to try doing it in an elevator, in a car, public place or on the sandy beach. I once tried jumping naked on the beach of Bahamas, and my partner taught it was really sexy and jumped in with me. We had a really HOT sex.
• Try something new
Don't be afraid to try something new. Experiment with your partner, if you feel like trying out different positions or different styles, GO AHEAD! Make use of food, scents or toys that can make you go oooohhh and aahhh.
• Take it slow
Don't jump in to a quick sex after a little kiss. Take your time, breath deeply, say positive stuffs to each other, and remember to satisfy your partner and not just satisfying yourself.
• Watch and Play
Like what I said earlier, visual stimulation do help a lot mostly in men. There's nothing wrong with watching some erotic movies once in a while. Try the things you see and watch. It will help a lot!
----------------------------------
I lived here in Texas all my life so I am very much familiar in the cities here. I love to travel a lot, and visit a lot of countries. I enjoy playing golf, and watching baseball. I hang out with my friends at the bars, at the clubhouse playing tennis, and sometimes at the casino. We play poker every Saturday night at my place. As far as I can remember, my parents and I traveled a lot and I have adapted their passion for traveling.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matthew_Lawrence
• Less talk, more Kiss
Never underestimate the power of a kiss; it's where it all started anyway. Some couples just forgot how the intimacy works; kissing is one way of getting more intimate and passionate. Start with a soft, light kiss on the upper lip, then feel the tension heats up and there will be groping and kissing all over the place. Don't talk while you're kissing. Kiss the lips, going to the ears and down to the neck - and who knows where else to go down to.
• The art of Undressing
Show some sneak peak of your body by undressing some parts of your body then let your partner do it for you. Remember to take it slow. Undressing fast takes away all the excitement.
• Filthy Talks
Let's face it, talking dirty turns us ON. Most of the guys gets turned on by what they see and most women by what they hear and feel. Still dirty talks spices up the process of lovemaking.
• Massage your way to the Big-O
Start with a simple massage on the hand or the back. Let your imagination flow, try massaging your partner using your tongue or any part of your body. Rub your body against your partner and see what happens!
• Dance together
It takes two people to do this, even if you are totally aroused but your partner isn't then all these foreplay isn't going anywhere. Women usually don't like to be just groped and start doing the thing. What woman wants is too cuddle and kiss and eventually leads to steamy SEX.
• Always think it's the First time
This for sure will always give you an experience you never had. Thinking you'll be doing it for the first time always excites you enough to give you an orgasm.
• Places you've never tried
Try new locations you haven't had sex before. Like around the house - kitchen, garage, or even in your front lawn. Fill up your fantasies; some may want to try doing it in an elevator, in a car, public place or on the sandy beach. I once tried jumping naked on the beach of Bahamas, and my partner taught it was really sexy and jumped in with me. We had a really HOT sex.
• Try something new
Don't be afraid to try something new. Experiment with your partner, if you feel like trying out different positions or different styles, GO AHEAD! Make use of food, scents or toys that can make you go oooohhh and aahhh.
• Take it slow
Don't jump in to a quick sex after a little kiss. Take your time, breath deeply, say positive stuffs to each other, and remember to satisfy your partner and not just satisfying yourself.
• Watch and Play
Like what I said earlier, visual stimulation do help a lot mostly in men. There's nothing wrong with watching some erotic movies once in a while. Try the things you see and watch. It will help a lot!
----------------------------------
I lived here in Texas all my life so I am very much familiar in the cities here. I love to travel a lot, and visit a lot of countries. I enjoy playing golf, and watching baseball. I hang out with my friends at the bars, at the clubhouse playing tennis, and sometimes at the casino. We play poker every Saturday night at my place. As far as I can remember, my parents and I traveled a lot and I have adapted their passion for traveling.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matthew_Lawrence
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
How To Have Great Sex | Try Different Lovemaking Positions
Use the following information to gain insight and learn tips on how to have great sex. Explore the benefits of several different lovemaking positions which will greatly enhance your sex life.
Let us start by defining what you want. What is "good sex" anyway? Is it a state of mind, an act, or a combination of the two? Undoubtedly the answer lies within each individual. You see, good sex is however you perceive it to be. It could be an all night passionate encounter with various sex positions or it could be a quick intimate session to satisfy the urges of you and your partner. Perhaps it may just be acts of foreplay such as oral sex or kissing. Whatever the case may be, it's really up to each person and what type of mood you're in that dictates how to have good sex.
Certainly good sex is hard to achieve without sexual arousal. Physical attractiveness to the male or female is a vital component in having good sex. How you feel about your partner's personality, looks, attitude, as well as scent and voice tone; factor in as key aspects to a good sexual encounter. Generally the best way to achieve good sex is through practice. The more times you experience the act, the more times you enhance the chemistry, and the more times you perfect the techniques; will greatly improve your sense of relaxation and enhanced sexual experience. You will understand how to have good sex whenever you so desire!
So now that you know in your mind how to give good sex, let's focus on several different lovemaking positions you can try.
Lovemaking Position #1 - Do it "doggie style"
This position is quite common but effective and enjoyable. From behind, the penetrating partner penetrates the receiving partner, who's crouched on all fours with legs slightly spread. Benefits to this method include an unobstructed view to the partner's body from the rear while leaving the arms and hands free to allow more stimulation to the receiving partner. For some women, it also provides the best stimulation for the G Spot. A drawback to some is the difficulty to maintain eye contact or kissing.
Lovemaking Position #2 - The "cowboy or cowgirl"
During this exciting position the penetrating partner lies down on their back, while the receiving partner kneels on top facing each other. The receiving partner, the woman (for the purposes of this article), controls most of the act including the depth, intensity, and angle of penetration. A big benefit is both partners can look directly at one another, and in particular the man can view and caress the woman's breasts while in this more natural position. Also, the man can enjoy receiving pleasure while relaxing and can often delay his orgasm longer.
These are just two of the many different lovemaking positions which are helpful in teaching you how to have good sex with your partner. Remember practice makes perfect and I'm sure you will find out what it means in your own mind when defining "good sex".
Perhaps you are looking for not just good sex, but "great sex". Discover hundreds upon hundreds of new and fun sex tips to take your lovemaking to a much higher level today. Check it out, highly recommended! Just visit http://lovetips.wordpress.com/ and start learning how to have great sex today.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=N_Smith
Let us start by defining what you want. What is "good sex" anyway? Is it a state of mind, an act, or a combination of the two? Undoubtedly the answer lies within each individual. You see, good sex is however you perceive it to be. It could be an all night passionate encounter with various sex positions or it could be a quick intimate session to satisfy the urges of you and your partner. Perhaps it may just be acts of foreplay such as oral sex or kissing. Whatever the case may be, it's really up to each person and what type of mood you're in that dictates how to have good sex.
Certainly good sex is hard to achieve without sexual arousal. Physical attractiveness to the male or female is a vital component in having good sex. How you feel about your partner's personality, looks, attitude, as well as scent and voice tone; factor in as key aspects to a good sexual encounter. Generally the best way to achieve good sex is through practice. The more times you experience the act, the more times you enhance the chemistry, and the more times you perfect the techniques; will greatly improve your sense of relaxation and enhanced sexual experience. You will understand how to have good sex whenever you so desire!
So now that you know in your mind how to give good sex, let's focus on several different lovemaking positions you can try.
Lovemaking Position #1 - Do it "doggie style"
This position is quite common but effective and enjoyable. From behind, the penetrating partner penetrates the receiving partner, who's crouched on all fours with legs slightly spread. Benefits to this method include an unobstructed view to the partner's body from the rear while leaving the arms and hands free to allow more stimulation to the receiving partner. For some women, it also provides the best stimulation for the G Spot. A drawback to some is the difficulty to maintain eye contact or kissing.
Lovemaking Position #2 - The "cowboy or cowgirl"
During this exciting position the penetrating partner lies down on their back, while the receiving partner kneels on top facing each other. The receiving partner, the woman (for the purposes of this article), controls most of the act including the depth, intensity, and angle of penetration. A big benefit is both partners can look directly at one another, and in particular the man can view and caress the woman's breasts while in this more natural position. Also, the man can enjoy receiving pleasure while relaxing and can often delay his orgasm longer.
These are just two of the many different lovemaking positions which are helpful in teaching you how to have good sex with your partner. Remember practice makes perfect and I'm sure you will find out what it means in your own mind when defining "good sex".
Perhaps you are looking for not just good sex, but "great sex". Discover hundreds upon hundreds of new and fun sex tips to take your lovemaking to a much higher level today. Check it out, highly recommended! Just visit http://lovetips.wordpress.com/ and start learning how to have great sex today.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=N_Smith
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Navigating Through our Desire Differences | How To Have Great Sex
We've been married over ten years now. I still have the libido of an 18 year old - her, not so much. She almost never wants to, me - I'm "insatiable." And I don't think I'm alone in this - most guys want to have great sex and have lots of it. So what gives? and more importantly, what can I do about it?
First step - understand the problem. During our "hot and heavy" period, which lasted about a year - we couldn't keep our hands off each other. She even warned me that she wasn't normally that sexual. After that first year, things cooled off for her. She just felt a lot less desire for sex. The sexual syncronicity of our first year wore off. There I was, wanting sex a lot more often than her.
This became a sore spot for me and caused some problems for us. I let bitterness and resentment fester, and to her - I became the nymphomaniac sex-fiend. Not good. I felt abnormal for wanting to have sex with my wife - how lame. Ultimately, we had to figure out that there was no "normal" - that name-calling and resentment had no place in our marriage. We ended up realizing we had three choices.
1. Remain miserable and loveless
2. Get a divorce over it
3. Find some common ground and make some compromises
We're much happier now and didn't end up divorced. Yes, we had to do some negotiating on our sexual frequency.
Oddly enough, one of her big issues was spontaneity. She wanted sex to be unplanned and spontaneous - like way too many unrealistic scenes from the movies. Of course, there's a reason people say things like, "only in the movies." We had to come to the realization that, while we were spontaneous early on - after ten years and kids; we needed to get out our daily organizers and start scheduling sex dates.
It was weird at first, but we got used to it. Here's what we found.
Me - I'd like to have great sex at least once a day. Her - well, once or twice a month is enough. For us, once a week was a good place to start. I can live with that (but I'd still like it more.)
She didn't like the idea too much at first. The big question was: "What if it's our night and I'm just not in the mood?" Good question - my initial response was, "Suck it up - huck a buck - tonight's my night little girl." But I didn't say that out loud - she CAN punch pretty hard. Instead, we got some advice from a counselor who basically said that was a common question and ultimately, try sticking to the schedule thing for a month or so and see if the question was still an issue.
I try to make our "date nights" special. Sometimes I'll arrange a babysitter and take her to a nice dinner or go see a movie. We've also gone for a few drinks and dancing. Sometimes, I'll just offer a back rub or foot massage - in OR out of our hot tub.
This "sexual schedule" works great for me. Instead of trying to pressure her into having sex with me every night, I'm learning to wait for it. She likes the relief of not being pressured. We can relax, there's no resentment and finally we're having great sex on a consistent basis. She doesn't have to fight me off - instead we can both be excited about our sex life and look forward to those moments we can share as we learn how to have great sex.
First step - understand the problem. During our "hot and heavy" period, which lasted about a year - we couldn't keep our hands off each other. She even warned me that she wasn't normally that sexual. After that first year, things cooled off for her. She just felt a lot less desire for sex. The sexual syncronicity of our first year wore off. There I was, wanting sex a lot more often than her.
This became a sore spot for me and caused some problems for us. I let bitterness and resentment fester, and to her - I became the nymphomaniac sex-fiend. Not good. I felt abnormal for wanting to have sex with my wife - how lame. Ultimately, we had to figure out that there was no "normal" - that name-calling and resentment had no place in our marriage. We ended up realizing we had three choices.
1. Remain miserable and loveless
2. Get a divorce over it
3. Find some common ground and make some compromises
We're much happier now and didn't end up divorced. Yes, we had to do some negotiating on our sexual frequency.
Oddly enough, one of her big issues was spontaneity. She wanted sex to be unplanned and spontaneous - like way too many unrealistic scenes from the movies. Of course, there's a reason people say things like, "only in the movies." We had to come to the realization that, while we were spontaneous early on - after ten years and kids; we needed to get out our daily organizers and start scheduling sex dates.
It was weird at first, but we got used to it. Here's what we found.
Me - I'd like to have great sex at least once a day. Her - well, once or twice a month is enough. For us, once a week was a good place to start. I can live with that (but I'd still like it more.)
She didn't like the idea too much at first. The big question was: "What if it's our night and I'm just not in the mood?" Good question - my initial response was, "Suck it up - huck a buck - tonight's my night little girl." But I didn't say that out loud - she CAN punch pretty hard. Instead, we got some advice from a counselor who basically said that was a common question and ultimately, try sticking to the schedule thing for a month or so and see if the question was still an issue.
I try to make our "date nights" special. Sometimes I'll arrange a babysitter and take her to a nice dinner or go see a movie. We've also gone for a few drinks and dancing. Sometimes, I'll just offer a back rub or foot massage - in OR out of our hot tub.
This "sexual schedule" works great for me. Instead of trying to pressure her into having sex with me every night, I'm learning to wait for it. She likes the relief of not being pressured. We can relax, there's no resentment and finally we're having great sex on a consistent basis. She doesn't have to fight me off - instead we can both be excited about our sex life and look forward to those moments we can share as we learn how to have great sex.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
7 Lovemaking Mistakes That Couples Make
How to avoid those mistakes and have great sex
Did you know that people who try to spice up their lovemaking, often make their experiences LESS fulfilling? It’s true.
Over the years, I've seen couples make the same mistakes over and over again, when trying to improve their love lives by learning more about how to have great sex, and I'd like to teach you how to overcome and avoid these problems.
Here are the 7 lovemaking mistakes. Are you making any of them?
MISTAKE #1: Feeling scared or embarrassed to talk about trying new things
Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid of what your partner may think?
Believe it or not, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they're just as uncomfortable or embarrassed about bringing it up as you are.
And you don't need to introduce whips, chains or a third person. That's nonsense! There are hundreds of ways to bring variety to your passionate play that aren't crude or dangerous and that your partner is sure to be comfortable with.
MISTAKE #2: Trying to convince the partner to make love
If your lover is tired or not in the mood for sex, trying to convince or persuade them to have sex almost NEVER works.
On the other hand, when a person is sexually aroused, their body releases the chemical 'adrenaline' into the bloodstream. This chemical is what gives you the energy to make love. So here's how to arouse them the right way. Yes, even if
they're tired.
Ladies: Want to get him in the mood? Give him fellatio or manually stroke him between 9 & 10 in the morning. This is when his testosterone levels are highest for the day. For better results, also wear something sexy or nothing at all. He'll like that.
Lads: Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest 'turn-ons' for women. Looking in her eyes and touching her face while kissing her can really increase arousal, too. And give some attention to her neck it will drive her wild. But don't rush this! Spend quality time building up her arousal with your sensual kisses.
MISTAKE #3: Neglecting foreplay to enjoy intercourse sooner
People in a relationship (especially men) tend to neglect foreplay so they can begin to enjoy intercourse sooner, but did you know that foreplay is actually said to intensify orgasms?
That's right. If you kiss, caress and touch longer, you can make your lovemaking even more satisfying.
So SLOW DOWN. Take your time. If you want to make it even better, tease your partner in a playful way. (This works like crazy.)
If you find something that they really enjoy, stop doing it, move back, and then do it again later. The more you pull back and push forward, the more they'll want it. And the more intense their experience will be. There are many games you can play to heighten this anticipation, too.
MISTAKE #4: Using toys or porn to make your lovemaking better
When sex hits a rough patch, many couples (men especially) think that a video, some plastic or vibrating thingy will instantly takes things through the roof.
Wrong!… While toys can certainly have their place in your lovemaking repertoire, relying on them can be extremely dangerous. These outside sources of pleasure can quickly make lovemaking even less fulfilling.
Why? Because you don't want your partner to end up looking forward to their plastic toy for pleasure more than they look forward to pleasure with you, do you? Couples need to first fully discover how to please all their spouses' body parts before
introducing other elements. Use them as a spice, not the main course.
MISTAKE #5: Trying to make the woman orgasm ONLY from intercourse
Men often feel "unmanly" if they can't satisfy their woman from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of women can't achieve orgasm through normal lovemaking.
Just knowing this takes the pressure off men completely. Now there's no need to get upset when their women don’t reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus (going down on a woman).
MISTAKE #6: Trying to “finish” at the same time
Simultaneous orgasms are quite overrated. Instead of aiming for one orgasm that you share together, focus completely on the woman’s needs first.
Hold off from the positions you find most enjoyable and instead make love in ways that are most pleasurable for your lady, until she is completely satisfied. That way you have a much greater chance of both climaxing.
MISTAKE #7: Sticking to a “set routine” too often
You know the drill. You take your clothes off, insert part A into part B, and, within a few minutes, the routine is over. Sound familiar?
No matter how fantastic lovemaking can be, there’s no denying it can get boring over the years. And the reason is because lovemaking in its basic act is always the same. But the danger is letting it get “too routine,” which can begin to affect your
relationship.
The BEST WAY to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal.
That's the secret.
In fact, when you have an abundance of NEW tips and techniques ready, you’ll enjoy more hot, steamy and passionate lovemaking, discover newfound enthusiasm to make love and even make love more often.
Today's Recommended Resource:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure and intimacy to your experience. To find out even more about how to have great sex, check out these Mind Blowing Tips:
Did you know that people who try to spice up their lovemaking, often make their experiences LESS fulfilling? It’s true.
Over the years, I've seen couples make the same mistakes over and over again, when trying to improve their love lives by learning more about how to have great sex, and I'd like to teach you how to overcome and avoid these problems.
Here are the 7 lovemaking mistakes. Are you making any of them?
MISTAKE #1: Feeling scared or embarrassed to talk about trying new things
Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid of what your partner may think?
Believe it or not, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they're just as uncomfortable or embarrassed about bringing it up as you are.
And you don't need to introduce whips, chains or a third person. That's nonsense! There are hundreds of ways to bring variety to your passionate play that aren't crude or dangerous and that your partner is sure to be comfortable with.
MISTAKE #2: Trying to convince the partner to make love
If your lover is tired or not in the mood for sex, trying to convince or persuade them to have sex almost NEVER works.
On the other hand, when a person is sexually aroused, their body releases the chemical 'adrenaline' into the bloodstream. This chemical is what gives you the energy to make love. So here's how to arouse them the right way. Yes, even if
they're tired.
Ladies: Want to get him in the mood? Give him fellatio or manually stroke him between 9 & 10 in the morning. This is when his testosterone levels are highest for the day. For better results, also wear something sexy or nothing at all. He'll like that.
Lads: Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest 'turn-ons' for women. Looking in her eyes and touching her face while kissing her can really increase arousal, too. And give some attention to her neck it will drive her wild. But don't rush this! Spend quality time building up her arousal with your sensual kisses.
MISTAKE #3: Neglecting foreplay to enjoy intercourse sooner
People in a relationship (especially men) tend to neglect foreplay so they can begin to enjoy intercourse sooner, but did you know that foreplay is actually said to intensify orgasms?
That's right. If you kiss, caress and touch longer, you can make your lovemaking even more satisfying.
So SLOW DOWN. Take your time. If you want to make it even better, tease your partner in a playful way. (This works like crazy.)
If you find something that they really enjoy, stop doing it, move back, and then do it again later. The more you pull back and push forward, the more they'll want it. And the more intense their experience will be. There are many games you can play to heighten this anticipation, too.
MISTAKE #4: Using toys or porn to make your lovemaking better
When sex hits a rough patch, many couples (men especially) think that a video, some plastic or vibrating thingy will instantly takes things through the roof.
Wrong!… While toys can certainly have their place in your lovemaking repertoire, relying on them can be extremely dangerous. These outside sources of pleasure can quickly make lovemaking even less fulfilling.
Why? Because you don't want your partner to end up looking forward to their plastic toy for pleasure more than they look forward to pleasure with you, do you? Couples need to first fully discover how to please all their spouses' body parts before
introducing other elements. Use them as a spice, not the main course.
MISTAKE #5: Trying to make the woman orgasm ONLY from intercourse
Men often feel "unmanly" if they can't satisfy their woman from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of women can't achieve orgasm through normal lovemaking.
Just knowing this takes the pressure off men completely. Now there's no need to get upset when their women don’t reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus (going down on a woman).
MISTAKE #6: Trying to “finish” at the same time
Simultaneous orgasms are quite overrated. Instead of aiming for one orgasm that you share together, focus completely on the woman’s needs first.
Hold off from the positions you find most enjoyable and instead make love in ways that are most pleasurable for your lady, until she is completely satisfied. That way you have a much greater chance of both climaxing.
MISTAKE #7: Sticking to a “set routine” too often
You know the drill. You take your clothes off, insert part A into part B, and, within a few minutes, the routine is over. Sound familiar?
No matter how fantastic lovemaking can be, there’s no denying it can get boring over the years. And the reason is because lovemaking in its basic act is always the same. But the danger is letting it get “too routine,” which can begin to affect your
relationship.
The BEST WAY to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal.
That's the secret.
In fact, when you have an abundance of NEW tips and techniques ready, you’ll enjoy more hot, steamy and passionate lovemaking, discover newfound enthusiasm to make love and even make love more often.
Today's Recommended Resource:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure and intimacy to your experience. To find out even more about how to have great sex, check out these Mind Blowing Tips:
Thursday, December 27, 2007
3 Ways To Intensify You Orgasms and Intimacy During Lovemaking
Here's some food for thought - One of the best ways to intensify your orgasms and increase the pleasure of your overall lovemaking experience is by prolonging foreplay.
It's true. And we're not just going to stop with "prolonged foreplay," you're about to learn three additional ways to add new levels of excitement and passion to your lovemaking that will bring you and your partner even closer together. So - in our quest to learn how to have great sex - here we go!
1. Make your foreplay last longer
An extended time of foreplay gives you time to build up sexual anticipation and amplifies your sexual experience. Now, why does this work? Well, partly because it's just human nature. Go back and think about a big event in your life. Maybe it's a party, a holiday, or a major movie launch, chances are - you were so excited by the buildup and buzz that it made the actual experience many times better.
Well, the same rules apply to your love-making. The next time you spend time between the sheets, make a conscious effort to explore your partner’s body. Look lovingly into their eyes, gently run your fingers across their skin and leave a sensual trail of kisses all over their body.
The more time you and your lover spend devoted to foreplay, the greater your sexual experience will be. And if you want to feel even more magic then...
2. Try new things and then add a "twist"
Now don’t get me wrong here, I'm not talking about JUST trying a new lovemaking technique, tip, position or even location. While each of these things would definitely spice things up, you can take your experience up another notch, simply by using a little added creativity.
For example: Why not apply a tip or learn a new technique––then pack a simple picnic and head to a beautiful park for the day. Who knows - you may find a private spot, who knows what might end up happening? :D Going on fun dates like these helps to bring back the magic that made you fall in love in the first place. Want one more hot tip?
3. Become a game player
I'm not talking about head games - I'm talking about tasteful, fun and alluring sex games. They are one of the best ways to intensify orgasms and the entire lovemaking experience. Not only are they extremely fun with a lot of 'replay value,' but they actually accomplish BOTH the previous tips at the same time too!
Because when you play a sex game you…
1. Automatically extend foreplay in a fun and interesting way
2. Try new things that the game tells you to do
And even while some games only consist of familiar tips and moves, you'll be using them in new scenarios, which actually makes them feel new.
Maybe you’ll use a deck of cards or dice to create your own passionate play. Perhaps you’ll adapt a sport game for the bedroom. Or maybe you’ll just want to use your bodies as the props. It doesn’t matter. Simply get excited and unleash some creativity!
So if you want to create a magical experience, remember there’s no better way than playful game that combines both prolonged foreplay and trying new things.
Recommended Resource:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of "100 Sex Games For Couples," a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion and intimacy to your experience. To read more, visit: 100 Great Sex Games - Learn How To Have Great Sex
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Seven Secrets to Great Sex - Part 1
I found a couple of informative and entertaining clips and I'd like to share them with you. These tips should help you in your quest to know more about how to have great sex. I've re-capped the content with some notes below:
1) Move - be active in bed - don't just lie there.
2) Spend more time on foreplay
3) Work those muscles - do the flutter, clench and hold - strengthen those pelvic muscles to go from good sex to knowing how to have great sex.
The post below will continue with the rest of the seven secrets - soon you'll know more about how to have great sex. Thanks for watching :)
1) Move - be active in bed - don't just lie there.
2) Spend more time on foreplay
3) Work those muscles - do the flutter, clench and hold - strengthen those pelvic muscles to go from good sex to knowing how to have great sex.
The post below will continue with the rest of the seven secrets - soon you'll know more about how to have great sex. Thanks for watching :)
The Seven Secrets to Great Sex - Part 2
More information about how to have great sex - continued from the video post above...
4) "Make your mouth a fountain of moisture" - If you find yourself with a dry mouth - learn to stimulate your saliva glands. You can do this a number of ways: Curl your tongue toward the back of your throat, bite into something sour, or suck on some hard candy.
5) "Make sure your hands go up when you're going down." Wandering hands can definitely enhance the experience.
6) "Put it on speakerphone" - make some noise - try a little "dirty talk."
7) "Expand, Explore, Experiment" - don't just try it once, try it three times - just to be sure...
I hope you've enjoyed these tips and are learning more and more about how to have great sex.
Take care,
4) "Make your mouth a fountain of moisture" - If you find yourself with a dry mouth - learn to stimulate your saliva glands. You can do this a number of ways: Curl your tongue toward the back of your throat, bite into something sour, or suck on some hard candy.
5) "Make sure your hands go up when you're going down." Wandering hands can definitely enhance the experience.
6) "Put it on speakerphone" - make some noise - try a little "dirty talk."
7) "Expand, Explore, Experiment" - don't just try it once, try it three times - just to be sure...
I hope you've enjoyed these tips and are learning more and more about how to have great sex.
Take care,
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