Friday, November 30, 2007

Can Married Christians Learn How To Have Great Sex?

Back in February of this year, FOX news reported on a Lutheran pastor in the Detroit area who kicked off a series of sermons about "How To Have Great Sex," for Lent. In and of itself, that is pretty newsworthy, but get this - the title of the first sermon in the series was, "The Greatest Sex You'll Ever Have."

Pack my bags - I'm switchin' churches...

Seriously though, it got a few people riled up - but I think Pastor Tim Kade had good intentions and made some valid points. He was quoted as saying, "Sex wasn't invented in a dark alley behind a porn shop," in a statement dated Feb. 20. "It's part of God's design and the Bible is very open and frank about sexual matters.

He's right, if you're in doubt - try reading "Song of Songs" also known as "Song of Solomon"...

The sermons and the promotional materials touched on themes like: frustration, boredom, loneliness, despair, jealousy, and adultery. Bottom line - it got me thinking. I don't like conflict or confrontation. It's easy to bottle up conversations about sex, but that can lead to bigger problems.

Over time, married couples get comfortable - even a little bit lazy. Marriage takes work and effort is required to keep the flame of love burning. I wanted to find a way to keep our conversation lines open and spice things up a bit.

I looked around on the internet, but you can probably imagine the amount of porn and garbage that's our there. I found some helpful information that was free, but the old saying is true - you do get what you pay for.

I managed to find the perfect solution for us - a program designed to turn me into a husband who knows how to have great sex.

Some parts I already knew, other parts really helped me step my game up a few notches. You'd be surprised how motivating and rewarding it can be to get a refresher. And it didn't have to clash with my values. I hope you take the opportunity to learn how to have great sex too.

John

Thursday, November 15, 2007

How to Have Great Sex - Even If You've Been Married for awhile

Let me start this post by saying I'm happily married, have been for many years. While having great sex isn't the only thing - it's still an important part of marriage. In my quest to keep the fire burning, I'm learning about how to have great sex and how to apply that knowledge in marriage.

After 30 years of marriage, Sue Johanson - host of Talk Sex offers the following advice:

Talk about cellulite. Talk about wrinkles. Ignoring changes in your body won't make them go away.

Dress up like Tarzan. Or a nurse. No one else will know.

Guess what? Many older couples don't like penetration. Luckily it's not the only way to have fun.

Do the dishes naked.

Waiting until you're in the mood is baloney. Try going along with your partner when you don't feel like it. You might be surprised.

Take a vacation. It's amazing what happens in Nassau.

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It's important to learn how to have great sex when you're in a long term relationship. I've gathered some additional suggestions if you're looking for ways to spice up things in the bedroom:

Consider trying a sampler kit of various lubricants

Take dancing lessons

Find erotica that suits you and read to each other

When you're not in the mood - breathe, relax, reconnect, remember and let go - allow me to expand on those:

Breathe - quiet your mind, slow down, focusing on your breathing can help you shut out the rest of the world. This is "we" time.

Relax - Get or give a massage, listen to soothing music, hold each other in a nonsexual way - if you want to have great sex, there should be no pressure.

Reconnect - life gets in the way, maybe bitterness or resentment, friends, work, in-laws - the list is practically endless - to enjoy great sex with your spouse, you have to be able to connect with the love you have for them. It may help to...

Remember - maybe life has been hard and dealt you some bad cards, but - there's a reason you fell in love in the first place; remembering the good times can help you reconnect and stay connected.

Let go - If you're like me, you have a busy life, full of things you have to do, things you know you should do - maybe you even worry about your performance from time to time. It's easier said than done - but letting go of that sort of pressure will help you learn how to have great sex.

If you are looking for more ways to improve your love life - I found these Lovemaking Tips on How to have Great Sex - to be very helpful.

Take care,

John Simple