How to have great sex more often is a question I get from men? Women also want more sex but they don't feel their lives help. Stress, work, housekeeping, and looking after the kids don't really get them in the right mood, so the chances of them feeling like it are greatly diminished.
Sex is so important to our relationships. Most relationships become distant when sex becomes less and many end. So if you don't have sex, prepare for problems.
For men, sex is the way that they can show their partner how much they love them. This is what men need to be able to respond to a woman emotionally (therefore it's critical for a man) and a woman needs emotion to be able to respond to a man sexually.
When they are both in tune i.e. having fun and enjoying each other, sex is usually great, but then an argument strikes, both are usually hell bent on being right until one backs down and says sorry or they both might just brush it under the carpet. If the man says he is sorry, he will immediately want to show his partner his love for her through sex. A woman's response is "you have got to be kidding me... you think that I'm in the mood for sex after that display from you!" So the goal is to create the right emotions and the chance of sex increasing is very high.
One of the ways I help couples to engage with each other is to create a scenario that they can both feel good about and share. When they first met is usually a great example. I get couples to talk about their first date! When this happens, I watch the spark re-enter two people that entered the room looking depressed about life. I watch them get excited and laugh about that day. The mood in the room changes. It is this change of mood that you are after.
Try it and see what happens.
Step one. Start to think about your first date now! Take yourself back to that day. Remember how you felt before your date and then play the date just like a movie in your mind. Recount all the things that happened, what was said, the place you went to and how you tried to work out if your date liked you.
Step two. As soon as possible text or phone your partner and tell them you have been thinking about the first day you both met. This will immediately focus your partner on that day, and images and feelings will pop into there head throughout the day.
Step three. When you get home and you get a moment together, start to talk about that day. Make sure you keep the focus of the conversation on the positives of that day and keep the conversation away from the negative differences between your relationship back then and today if he or she brings them up!
Step four. Re-create that first date. Take your partner back to the same place (if possible) and do it as a surprise! Try to remember exactly what was said and reminisce together. The chance of you both feeling fantastic are very high and you will notice a shift in your relationship.
The chances of great sex are now much higher, but this was not the real goal. The real goal is to get your relationship re-ignited. It works! Go ahead, learn how to have great sex and try it today.
Subscribe free to DatingsShoes today at http://www.datingshoes.com & get the best infomation on creating relationships that last. If you have any relationship stories you would like published then send them to feedback@datingshoes.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Hedger
Showing posts with label have great sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label have great sex. Show all posts
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
How To Have Great Sex | Christian Sex Ideas to Enhance Intimacy!
There are some important areas in a Christian relationship which should be focused on in order to keep things fresh and exciting. Sex should definitely be an area that Christian couples should continually focus on and work towards keeping things exciting and new. Here are some great Christian sex ideas which you can use to spice up intimacy within your Christian relationship:
1. Christian sex toys or intimacy aids!
A great way to automatically change things up or add another level of intimacy to your relationship, is by bringing in a Christian sex toy or intimacy aid. This does not have to be anything elaborate or complicated. For instance erotic massage oils can be a simple way to add variety to your intimacy.
2. Positions for Christian sex!
An even easier way to increase variety in your sex life, is simply by learning and engaging in new intimate positions. This can be done on the spot, though you should research the Christian safe positions, and then learn the new positions so you can implement them safely and enjoyably.
3. A Christian Sex Manual!
Probably the best way to add variety and increase your level of intimacy within your relationship, is by getting a Christian sex manual which will show dozens of different techniques, tips and tricks to apply specifically to sex within a Christian relationship. This can make a huge difference in increasing your frequency and enjoyment of sex.
This is a great tool as it will serve as a constant source for applying variety towards your intimacy. It will also outline all the accepted positions and practices within Christian intimate practice.
Here is an excellent Christian Sex Manual which outlines techniques and tips for guaranteed increases in the frequency of your intimate Christian sex life. See http://christian-sex-celebration.blogspot.com/
Also, are all the rules pertaining to Christian sex practice. Check out - http://christian-sex-celebration.blogspot.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chess_McDoogle
1. Christian sex toys or intimacy aids!
A great way to automatically change things up or add another level of intimacy to your relationship, is by bringing in a Christian sex toy or intimacy aid. This does not have to be anything elaborate or complicated. For instance erotic massage oils can be a simple way to add variety to your intimacy.
2. Positions for Christian sex!
An even easier way to increase variety in your sex life, is simply by learning and engaging in new intimate positions. This can be done on the spot, though you should research the Christian safe positions, and then learn the new positions so you can implement them safely and enjoyably.
3. A Christian Sex Manual!
Probably the best way to add variety and increase your level of intimacy within your relationship, is by getting a Christian sex manual which will show dozens of different techniques, tips and tricks to apply specifically to sex within a Christian relationship. This can make a huge difference in increasing your frequency and enjoyment of sex.
This is a great tool as it will serve as a constant source for applying variety towards your intimacy. It will also outline all the accepted positions and practices within Christian intimate practice.
Here is an excellent Christian Sex Manual which outlines techniques and tips for guaranteed increases in the frequency of your intimate Christian sex life. See http://christian-sex-celebration.blogspot.com/
Also, are all the rules pertaining to Christian sex practice. Check out - http://christian-sex-celebration.blogspot.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chess_McDoogle
Saturday, April 19, 2008
How To Have Great Sex | Get Rid of Sex Gremlins and Boost Your Libido
Gremlins-little mischievous creatures blamed for wreaking havoc and sabotage in aircraft during WWII. They gained widespread familiarity by the Merrie Melodies animated short film Falling Hare featuring Bugs Bunny.
These mythical gremlins were blamed for unexplainable mechanical failures in aircraft. Pilots even reported seeing the little creatures (most likely do to hallucinations brought on by battle fatigue and or oxygen deprivation).
Today I want to tell you about sex gremlins-little mischievous proteins that can wreak havoc and sabotage your sex drive. The big difference is sex gremlins are in fact real!
The medical community calls them SHBG or Sex Hormone Binding Globulin. The reason these little buggers are such a problem is they bind up free testosterone. This is the type of testosterone men and women both need to realize the positive benefits of testosterone (increased muscle and bone density, more energy, better immune function and a stronger libido to name a few).
The bad thing about SHBG is it has a strong attraction to testosterone. And the more testosterone it binds up means less is available for use in your body. This is usually not big deal until you reach your 40's. After the age of 40 the amount of testosterone produced by your body (by the testicles in men and the ovaries in women) begins to decline at roughly 1 percent per year.
This decline in testosterone production after the age of 40 and the effects of SHBG, no doubt contribute to the middle age spread and loss of libido men experience and the weight gain and loss of interest in sex many women associate with menopause.
The good thing is you can take steps to keep your testosterone levels up and reduce your levels of SHBG and their sex hormone binding effects (this means more free testosterone to keep you looking and feeling sexy and full of life). And thus reaping the benefits of your bodies own testosterone.
Ways to keep your testosterone levels up and SHBG down:
* Maintain a healthy weight: Excess fat increases estrogen production (in both men and women) and estrogen signals the body to produce less testosterone.
* Avoid alcohol: alcohol inhibits the body's ability to remove estrogen (think beer belly) and it depletes your body of zinc.
* Reduce stress levels: Stress elevates cortisol levels which in turn lowers testosterone levels.
* Avoid synthetic hormones such as estrogen and progesterone (e.g. the Pill): they reduce your body's lutenizing hormone levels which effects your natural hormone production.
* Insulin resistance: studies suggest a link to type 2 diabetes and low testosterone. Insulin resistance is the primary cause of type 2 diabetes and metabolic disorder. Cut the carbs!
* Low fat diets: forget all the hype about eating a low fat diet. High carbohydrate consumption and insulin resistance causes your body to store fat. Low fat diets increase SHGB.
* Eat the right kind of fats: Avoid soybean oil (also called vegetable oil to sneak it past you) like the plague (effects estrogen levels). Your body makes testosterone from cholesterol; eat monounsaturated fats like olive oil, peanut oil and canola oil. Don't be afraid to eat some saturated fats in moderation such as butter and cream. Think of French cooking-uses a ton of butter, cream and eggs, but the French are generally thin. It ain't the fat making folks fat.
* Get plenty of rest: sleep deprivation and over exertion increases cortisol levels.
* Get plenty of Vitamin C: Reduces the release of cortisol. Less cortisol equals more testosterone. Don't use OJ for your C. Way too much sugar in oranges.
* Exercise correctly: forget the aerobic class and hours of mindless treadmill work. Resistance training is the way to go. Recent studies show both men and women benefit the most from 2 sets of 6 to 8 repetitions of a heavy weight (about 85% of your maximum). Use basic core moves (like squats, chest presses, etc.). Don't worry ladies you won't bulk up (unless you're using steroids). Whose legs would you rather have? A 40 meter sprinter's or a marathon runner's? I'll take the sprinter's legs! Brief and intense exercise is what you want.
Get rid of the sex gremlins (SHBG) and stop wreaking havoc with your libido. Menopause and middle age isn't killing your libido-you are (and the sex gremlins)!
Now get busy and exterminate those sex gremlins and enjoy life again (and sex too).
For more tips on boosting your sex life, download my free guide, 'Your Tips to a Healthy Happy Sex Life Guide' here: Your Tips to a Healthy Happy Sex Life Guide .
David Christian Solomon is an independent writer/researcher dedicated to helping people enjoy healthy happy lives through the use of nutrition, diet, exercise and lifestyle choices. He is the author of the Easy Orgasm Diet: How to Restore, Revive and Release Your Orgasms book which details how to use nutrition and simple exercises to naturally increase a woman's arousal, desire and enjoyment of sex.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Solomon
These mythical gremlins were blamed for unexplainable mechanical failures in aircraft. Pilots even reported seeing the little creatures (most likely do to hallucinations brought on by battle fatigue and or oxygen deprivation).
Today I want to tell you about sex gremlins-little mischievous proteins that can wreak havoc and sabotage your sex drive. The big difference is sex gremlins are in fact real!
The medical community calls them SHBG or Sex Hormone Binding Globulin. The reason these little buggers are such a problem is they bind up free testosterone. This is the type of testosterone men and women both need to realize the positive benefits of testosterone (increased muscle and bone density, more energy, better immune function and a stronger libido to name a few).
The bad thing about SHBG is it has a strong attraction to testosterone. And the more testosterone it binds up means less is available for use in your body. This is usually not big deal until you reach your 40's. After the age of 40 the amount of testosterone produced by your body (by the testicles in men and the ovaries in women) begins to decline at roughly 1 percent per year.
This decline in testosterone production after the age of 40 and the effects of SHBG, no doubt contribute to the middle age spread and loss of libido men experience and the weight gain and loss of interest in sex many women associate with menopause.
The good thing is you can take steps to keep your testosterone levels up and reduce your levels of SHBG and their sex hormone binding effects (this means more free testosterone to keep you looking and feeling sexy and full of life). And thus reaping the benefits of your bodies own testosterone.
Ways to keep your testosterone levels up and SHBG down:
* Maintain a healthy weight: Excess fat increases estrogen production (in both men and women) and estrogen signals the body to produce less testosterone.
* Avoid alcohol: alcohol inhibits the body's ability to remove estrogen (think beer belly) and it depletes your body of zinc.
* Reduce stress levels: Stress elevates cortisol levels which in turn lowers testosterone levels.
* Avoid synthetic hormones such as estrogen and progesterone (e.g. the Pill): they reduce your body's lutenizing hormone levels which effects your natural hormone production.
* Insulin resistance: studies suggest a link to type 2 diabetes and low testosterone. Insulin resistance is the primary cause of type 2 diabetes and metabolic disorder. Cut the carbs!
* Low fat diets: forget all the hype about eating a low fat diet. High carbohydrate consumption and insulin resistance causes your body to store fat. Low fat diets increase SHGB.
* Eat the right kind of fats: Avoid soybean oil (also called vegetable oil to sneak it past you) like the plague (effects estrogen levels). Your body makes testosterone from cholesterol; eat monounsaturated fats like olive oil, peanut oil and canola oil. Don't be afraid to eat some saturated fats in moderation such as butter and cream. Think of French cooking-uses a ton of butter, cream and eggs, but the French are generally thin. It ain't the fat making folks fat.
* Get plenty of rest: sleep deprivation and over exertion increases cortisol levels.
* Get plenty of Vitamin C: Reduces the release of cortisol. Less cortisol equals more testosterone. Don't use OJ for your C. Way too much sugar in oranges.
* Exercise correctly: forget the aerobic class and hours of mindless treadmill work. Resistance training is the way to go. Recent studies show both men and women benefit the most from 2 sets of 6 to 8 repetitions of a heavy weight (about 85% of your maximum). Use basic core moves (like squats, chest presses, etc.). Don't worry ladies you won't bulk up (unless you're using steroids). Whose legs would you rather have? A 40 meter sprinter's or a marathon runner's? I'll take the sprinter's legs! Brief and intense exercise is what you want.
Get rid of the sex gremlins (SHBG) and stop wreaking havoc with your libido. Menopause and middle age isn't killing your libido-you are (and the sex gremlins)!
Now get busy and exterminate those sex gremlins and enjoy life again (and sex too).
For more tips on boosting your sex life, download my free guide, 'Your Tips to a Healthy Happy Sex Life Guide' here: Your Tips to a Healthy Happy Sex Life Guide .
David Christian Solomon is an independent writer/researcher dedicated to helping people enjoy healthy happy lives through the use of nutrition, diet, exercise and lifestyle choices. He is the author of the Easy Orgasm Diet: How to Restore, Revive and Release Your Orgasms book which details how to use nutrition and simple exercises to naturally increase a woman's arousal, desire and enjoyment of sex.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Solomon
Thursday, April 17, 2008
10 Methods To Heat Up Your Foreplay | How To Have Great Sex
Learn and share the methods of spicing up your sexual activities. True enough heat creates fire, and if there is fire, intimacy and passion flares up causing a hot, steamy lovemaking.
• Less talk, more Kiss
Never underestimate the power of a kiss; it's where it all started anyway. Some couples just forgot how the intimacy works; kissing is one way of getting more intimate and passionate. Start with a soft, light kiss on the upper lip, then feel the tension heats up and there will be groping and kissing all over the place. Don't talk while you're kissing. Kiss the lips, going to the ears and down to the neck - and who knows where else to go down to.
• The art of Undressing
Show some sneak peak of your body by undressing some parts of your body then let your partner do it for you. Remember to take it slow. Undressing fast takes away all the excitement.
• Filthy Talks
Let's face it, talking dirty turns us ON. Most of the guys gets turned on by what they see and most women by what they hear and feel. Still dirty talks spices up the process of lovemaking.
• Massage your way to the Big-O
Start with a simple massage on the hand or the back. Let your imagination flow, try massaging your partner using your tongue or any part of your body. Rub your body against your partner and see what happens!
• Dance together
It takes two people to do this, even if you are totally aroused but your partner isn't then all these foreplay isn't going anywhere. Women usually don't like to be just groped and start doing the thing. What woman wants is too cuddle and kiss and eventually leads to steamy SEX.
• Always think it's the First time
This for sure will always give you an experience you never had. Thinking you'll be doing it for the first time always excites you enough to give you an orgasm.
• Places you've never tried
Try new locations you haven't had sex before. Like around the house - kitchen, garage, or even in your front lawn. Fill up your fantasies; some may want to try doing it in an elevator, in a car, public place or on the sandy beach. I once tried jumping naked on the beach of Bahamas, and my partner taught it was really sexy and jumped in with me. We had a really HOT sex.
• Try something new
Don't be afraid to try something new. Experiment with your partner, if you feel like trying out different positions or different styles, GO AHEAD! Make use of food, scents or toys that can make you go oooohhh and aahhh.
• Take it slow
Don't jump in to a quick sex after a little kiss. Take your time, breath deeply, say positive stuffs to each other, and remember to satisfy your partner and not just satisfying yourself.
• Watch and Play
Like what I said earlier, visual stimulation do help a lot mostly in men. There's nothing wrong with watching some erotic movies once in a while. Try the things you see and watch. It will help a lot!
----------------------------------
I lived here in Texas all my life so I am very much familiar in the cities here. I love to travel a lot, and visit a lot of countries. I enjoy playing golf, and watching baseball. I hang out with my friends at the bars, at the clubhouse playing tennis, and sometimes at the casino. We play poker every Saturday night at my place. As far as I can remember, my parents and I traveled a lot and I have adapted their passion for traveling.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matthew_Lawrence
• Less talk, more Kiss
Never underestimate the power of a kiss; it's where it all started anyway. Some couples just forgot how the intimacy works; kissing is one way of getting more intimate and passionate. Start with a soft, light kiss on the upper lip, then feel the tension heats up and there will be groping and kissing all over the place. Don't talk while you're kissing. Kiss the lips, going to the ears and down to the neck - and who knows where else to go down to.
• The art of Undressing
Show some sneak peak of your body by undressing some parts of your body then let your partner do it for you. Remember to take it slow. Undressing fast takes away all the excitement.
• Filthy Talks
Let's face it, talking dirty turns us ON. Most of the guys gets turned on by what they see and most women by what they hear and feel. Still dirty talks spices up the process of lovemaking.
• Massage your way to the Big-O
Start with a simple massage on the hand or the back. Let your imagination flow, try massaging your partner using your tongue or any part of your body. Rub your body against your partner and see what happens!
• Dance together
It takes two people to do this, even if you are totally aroused but your partner isn't then all these foreplay isn't going anywhere. Women usually don't like to be just groped and start doing the thing. What woman wants is too cuddle and kiss and eventually leads to steamy SEX.
• Always think it's the First time
This for sure will always give you an experience you never had. Thinking you'll be doing it for the first time always excites you enough to give you an orgasm.
• Places you've never tried
Try new locations you haven't had sex before. Like around the house - kitchen, garage, or even in your front lawn. Fill up your fantasies; some may want to try doing it in an elevator, in a car, public place or on the sandy beach. I once tried jumping naked on the beach of Bahamas, and my partner taught it was really sexy and jumped in with me. We had a really HOT sex.
• Try something new
Don't be afraid to try something new. Experiment with your partner, if you feel like trying out different positions or different styles, GO AHEAD! Make use of food, scents or toys that can make you go oooohhh and aahhh.
• Take it slow
Don't jump in to a quick sex after a little kiss. Take your time, breath deeply, say positive stuffs to each other, and remember to satisfy your partner and not just satisfying yourself.
• Watch and Play
Like what I said earlier, visual stimulation do help a lot mostly in men. There's nothing wrong with watching some erotic movies once in a while. Try the things you see and watch. It will help a lot!
----------------------------------
I lived here in Texas all my life so I am very much familiar in the cities here. I love to travel a lot, and visit a lot of countries. I enjoy playing golf, and watching baseball. I hang out with my friends at the bars, at the clubhouse playing tennis, and sometimes at the casino. We play poker every Saturday night at my place. As far as I can remember, my parents and I traveled a lot and I have adapted their passion for traveling.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matthew_Lawrence
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
How To Have Great Sex | Try Different Lovemaking Positions
Use the following information to gain insight and learn tips on how to have great sex. Explore the benefits of several different lovemaking positions which will greatly enhance your sex life.
Let us start by defining what you want. What is "good sex" anyway? Is it a state of mind, an act, or a combination of the two? Undoubtedly the answer lies within each individual. You see, good sex is however you perceive it to be. It could be an all night passionate encounter with various sex positions or it could be a quick intimate session to satisfy the urges of you and your partner. Perhaps it may just be acts of foreplay such as oral sex or kissing. Whatever the case may be, it's really up to each person and what type of mood you're in that dictates how to have good sex.
Certainly good sex is hard to achieve without sexual arousal. Physical attractiveness to the male or female is a vital component in having good sex. How you feel about your partner's personality, looks, attitude, as well as scent and voice tone; factor in as key aspects to a good sexual encounter. Generally the best way to achieve good sex is through practice. The more times you experience the act, the more times you enhance the chemistry, and the more times you perfect the techniques; will greatly improve your sense of relaxation and enhanced sexual experience. You will understand how to have good sex whenever you so desire!
So now that you know in your mind how to give good sex, let's focus on several different lovemaking positions you can try.
Lovemaking Position #1 - Do it "doggie style"
This position is quite common but effective and enjoyable. From behind, the penetrating partner penetrates the receiving partner, who's crouched on all fours with legs slightly spread. Benefits to this method include an unobstructed view to the partner's body from the rear while leaving the arms and hands free to allow more stimulation to the receiving partner. For some women, it also provides the best stimulation for the G Spot. A drawback to some is the difficulty to maintain eye contact or kissing.
Lovemaking Position #2 - The "cowboy or cowgirl"
During this exciting position the penetrating partner lies down on their back, while the receiving partner kneels on top facing each other. The receiving partner, the woman (for the purposes of this article), controls most of the act including the depth, intensity, and angle of penetration. A big benefit is both partners can look directly at one another, and in particular the man can view and caress the woman's breasts while in this more natural position. Also, the man can enjoy receiving pleasure while relaxing and can often delay his orgasm longer.
These are just two of the many different lovemaking positions which are helpful in teaching you how to have good sex with your partner. Remember practice makes perfect and I'm sure you will find out what it means in your own mind when defining "good sex".
Perhaps you are looking for not just good sex, but "great sex". Discover hundreds upon hundreds of new and fun sex tips to take your lovemaking to a much higher level today. Check it out, highly recommended! Just visit http://lovetips.wordpress.com/ and start learning how to have great sex today.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=N_Smith
Let us start by defining what you want. What is "good sex" anyway? Is it a state of mind, an act, or a combination of the two? Undoubtedly the answer lies within each individual. You see, good sex is however you perceive it to be. It could be an all night passionate encounter with various sex positions or it could be a quick intimate session to satisfy the urges of you and your partner. Perhaps it may just be acts of foreplay such as oral sex or kissing. Whatever the case may be, it's really up to each person and what type of mood you're in that dictates how to have good sex.
Certainly good sex is hard to achieve without sexual arousal. Physical attractiveness to the male or female is a vital component in having good sex. How you feel about your partner's personality, looks, attitude, as well as scent and voice tone; factor in as key aspects to a good sexual encounter. Generally the best way to achieve good sex is through practice. The more times you experience the act, the more times you enhance the chemistry, and the more times you perfect the techniques; will greatly improve your sense of relaxation and enhanced sexual experience. You will understand how to have good sex whenever you so desire!
So now that you know in your mind how to give good sex, let's focus on several different lovemaking positions you can try.
Lovemaking Position #1 - Do it "doggie style"
This position is quite common but effective and enjoyable. From behind, the penetrating partner penetrates the receiving partner, who's crouched on all fours with legs slightly spread. Benefits to this method include an unobstructed view to the partner's body from the rear while leaving the arms and hands free to allow more stimulation to the receiving partner. For some women, it also provides the best stimulation for the G Spot. A drawback to some is the difficulty to maintain eye contact or kissing.
Lovemaking Position #2 - The "cowboy or cowgirl"
During this exciting position the penetrating partner lies down on their back, while the receiving partner kneels on top facing each other. The receiving partner, the woman (for the purposes of this article), controls most of the act including the depth, intensity, and angle of penetration. A big benefit is both partners can look directly at one another, and in particular the man can view and caress the woman's breasts while in this more natural position. Also, the man can enjoy receiving pleasure while relaxing and can often delay his orgasm longer.
These are just two of the many different lovemaking positions which are helpful in teaching you how to have good sex with your partner. Remember practice makes perfect and I'm sure you will find out what it means in your own mind when defining "good sex".
Perhaps you are looking for not just good sex, but "great sex". Discover hundreds upon hundreds of new and fun sex tips to take your lovemaking to a much higher level today. Check it out, highly recommended! Just visit http://lovetips.wordpress.com/ and start learning how to have great sex today.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=N_Smith
Thursday, April 10, 2008
How To Get Your Girl To Have Great Sex With You
Whether it's about girlfriends or wives, there is something to this thing called "emotional connection." Guys don't need to feel the emotional connection in the same way women do. And if it isn't there, there's a lot less chance she'll feel like getting intimate with you.
If you're trying to figure out how to have great sex, this just won't do.
I thought this quote was pretty funny, even if it is kind of a slam:
"Men are like parking spaces, most are already taken and the rest are handicapped."
Ummm....consider me taken then?
-------------------------------
This video shows you a simple intimacy-building exercise designed to help you connect with your significant other in 5 minutes.
Watch it, try it and see what develops...I'll bet you get to have great sex in no time.
If you're trying to figure out how to have great sex, this just won't do.
I thought this quote was pretty funny, even if it is kind of a slam:
"Men are like parking spaces, most are already taken and the rest are handicapped."
Ummm....consider me taken then?
-------------------------------
This video shows you a simple intimacy-building exercise designed to help you connect with your significant other in 5 minutes.
Watch it, try it and see what develops...I'll bet you get to have great sex in no time.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Navigating Through our Desire Differences | How To Have Great Sex
We've been married over ten years now. I still have the libido of an 18 year old - her, not so much. She almost never wants to, me - I'm "insatiable." And I don't think I'm alone in this - most guys want to have great sex and have lots of it. So what gives? and more importantly, what can I do about it?
First step - understand the problem. During our "hot and heavy" period, which lasted about a year - we couldn't keep our hands off each other. She even warned me that she wasn't normally that sexual. After that first year, things cooled off for her. She just felt a lot less desire for sex. The sexual syncronicity of our first year wore off. There I was, wanting sex a lot more often than her.
This became a sore spot for me and caused some problems for us. I let bitterness and resentment fester, and to her - I became the nymphomaniac sex-fiend. Not good. I felt abnormal for wanting to have sex with my wife - how lame. Ultimately, we had to figure out that there was no "normal" - that name-calling and resentment had no place in our marriage. We ended up realizing we had three choices.
1. Remain miserable and loveless
2. Get a divorce over it
3. Find some common ground and make some compromises
We're much happier now and didn't end up divorced. Yes, we had to do some negotiating on our sexual frequency.
Oddly enough, one of her big issues was spontaneity. She wanted sex to be unplanned and spontaneous - like way too many unrealistic scenes from the movies. Of course, there's a reason people say things like, "only in the movies." We had to come to the realization that, while we were spontaneous early on - after ten years and kids; we needed to get out our daily organizers and start scheduling sex dates.
It was weird at first, but we got used to it. Here's what we found.
Me - I'd like to have great sex at least once a day. Her - well, once or twice a month is enough. For us, once a week was a good place to start. I can live with that (but I'd still like it more.)
She didn't like the idea too much at first. The big question was: "What if it's our night and I'm just not in the mood?" Good question - my initial response was, "Suck it up - huck a buck - tonight's my night little girl." But I didn't say that out loud - she CAN punch pretty hard. Instead, we got some advice from a counselor who basically said that was a common question and ultimately, try sticking to the schedule thing for a month or so and see if the question was still an issue.
I try to make our "date nights" special. Sometimes I'll arrange a babysitter and take her to a nice dinner or go see a movie. We've also gone for a few drinks and dancing. Sometimes, I'll just offer a back rub or foot massage - in OR out of our hot tub.
This "sexual schedule" works great for me. Instead of trying to pressure her into having sex with me every night, I'm learning to wait for it. She likes the relief of not being pressured. We can relax, there's no resentment and finally we're having great sex on a consistent basis. She doesn't have to fight me off - instead we can both be excited about our sex life and look forward to those moments we can share as we learn how to have great sex.
First step - understand the problem. During our "hot and heavy" period, which lasted about a year - we couldn't keep our hands off each other. She even warned me that she wasn't normally that sexual. After that first year, things cooled off for her. She just felt a lot less desire for sex. The sexual syncronicity of our first year wore off. There I was, wanting sex a lot more often than her.
This became a sore spot for me and caused some problems for us. I let bitterness and resentment fester, and to her - I became the nymphomaniac sex-fiend. Not good. I felt abnormal for wanting to have sex with my wife - how lame. Ultimately, we had to figure out that there was no "normal" - that name-calling and resentment had no place in our marriage. We ended up realizing we had three choices.
1. Remain miserable and loveless
2. Get a divorce over it
3. Find some common ground and make some compromises
We're much happier now and didn't end up divorced. Yes, we had to do some negotiating on our sexual frequency.
Oddly enough, one of her big issues was spontaneity. She wanted sex to be unplanned and spontaneous - like way too many unrealistic scenes from the movies. Of course, there's a reason people say things like, "only in the movies." We had to come to the realization that, while we were spontaneous early on - after ten years and kids; we needed to get out our daily organizers and start scheduling sex dates.
It was weird at first, but we got used to it. Here's what we found.
Me - I'd like to have great sex at least once a day. Her - well, once or twice a month is enough. For us, once a week was a good place to start. I can live with that (but I'd still like it more.)
She didn't like the idea too much at first. The big question was: "What if it's our night and I'm just not in the mood?" Good question - my initial response was, "Suck it up - huck a buck - tonight's my night little girl." But I didn't say that out loud - she CAN punch pretty hard. Instead, we got some advice from a counselor who basically said that was a common question and ultimately, try sticking to the schedule thing for a month or so and see if the question was still an issue.
I try to make our "date nights" special. Sometimes I'll arrange a babysitter and take her to a nice dinner or go see a movie. We've also gone for a few drinks and dancing. Sometimes, I'll just offer a back rub or foot massage - in OR out of our hot tub.
This "sexual schedule" works great for me. Instead of trying to pressure her into having sex with me every night, I'm learning to wait for it. She likes the relief of not being pressured. We can relax, there's no resentment and finally we're having great sex on a consistent basis. She doesn't have to fight me off - instead we can both be excited about our sex life and look forward to those moments we can share as we learn how to have great sex.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Great Sex Can Happen In The Strangest Places
Looking for more adventure in your love life? Add some excitement by trying new places. So many people want to know how to have great sex and it can be as simple as making one little change - like location. Try these for starters:
1) A day on the lake is nice, but turning it into an erotic trip in a rowboat - talk about making waves. Rent a rowboat and find a remote area that is free of people. Once there, find a position that will help you stay low and out of view. Half the fun is knowing you might get caught.
2) Always a popular choice - check into a hotel. Extra points for luxury hotels. Fine accommodations, coupled with an nice meal and some bubbly will do wonders for your sizzle factor.
3) Take the "O" Train - try getting a private berth on a train. Your own sleeping compartment can be an optimal place if you like hanky panky in a moving vehicle. You may pay more for the privacy, but it will definitely be worth it.
4) Become a Jet-Setter - joint the "mile-high club" - sure, it's cramped and the flight attendants will know what's going on - but live on the edge. The extra excitement and adrenaline will insure that you remember it as a hot sexual experience.
5) Enjoy a roll in the hay - literally. Take a cue from the movie Match Point and enjoy a romp in the tall grass. Fields out in the country can provide tall, grassy cover, hiding you from the road. Plus, you'll be able to brag about your roll in the hay to your friends.
6) Last but not least - treat yourself and your mate. Pick up some sexy silk sheets and make your own bed a love haven. Your bed is the tried and true place for you to enjoy some hot sex with your lover.
Bonus Tip - try verbalizing your fantasies with your mate. Talk about places and locations that excite you or that you would like to try. You'd be surprised how adventurous you can be and how sexy you feel as you learn how to have great sex.
1) A day on the lake is nice, but turning it into an erotic trip in a rowboat - talk about making waves. Rent a rowboat and find a remote area that is free of people. Once there, find a position that will help you stay low and out of view. Half the fun is knowing you might get caught.
2) Always a popular choice - check into a hotel. Extra points for luxury hotels. Fine accommodations, coupled with an nice meal and some bubbly will do wonders for your sizzle factor.
3) Take the "O" Train - try getting a private berth on a train. Your own sleeping compartment can be an optimal place if you like hanky panky in a moving vehicle. You may pay more for the privacy, but it will definitely be worth it.
4) Become a Jet-Setter - joint the "mile-high club" - sure, it's cramped and the flight attendants will know what's going on - but live on the edge. The extra excitement and adrenaline will insure that you remember it as a hot sexual experience.
5) Enjoy a roll in the hay - literally. Take a cue from the movie Match Point and enjoy a romp in the tall grass. Fields out in the country can provide tall, grassy cover, hiding you from the road. Plus, you'll be able to brag about your roll in the hay to your friends.
6) Last but not least - treat yourself and your mate. Pick up some sexy silk sheets and make your own bed a love haven. Your bed is the tried and true place for you to enjoy some hot sex with your lover.
Bonus Tip - try verbalizing your fantasies with your mate. Talk about places and locations that excite you or that you would like to try. You'd be surprised how adventurous you can be and how sexy you feel as you learn how to have great sex.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
6 Places To Have Great Sex
The three most important things about great real estate are: location, location and location. You could say the same about great sex - if you want to know more about how to have great sex, consider your location.
In light of this - I've put together a list of six hot places to have great sex:
1) Cleanliness is next to Godliness - while it doesn't actually say that anywhere in the Bible, it's still good to be clean. If you have a large enough bathtub - try doing it in a nice warm bath. If you want extra credit - get some candles, maybe some massage oils and rose petals. Just a thought...
2) I don't have a big enough bath tub, bummer. Luckily, I have a hot tub. If you have access to one - well let's just say you can figure out another reason to call it "hot."
3) Get some exercise - try using the exercise bench. An exercise bench offers the right combination of firm and sift and is normally set up at a perfect height for some great sex. Extra points for innovative positions.
4) Chill out - try doing it in front of the fridge. Here's the twist, open the door. The cold air will perk things up and give you the delicious interplay of your hotness with the icy air...
5) Since we're in the kitchen - clear some clutter and put those counter tops to good use. Just remember to clean up when you're finished...
6) For you outdoor lovers - try taking a hike. Scope out park and woodland areas nearby. Chances are, you may be able to find a nice secluded spot where you can really enjoy the great outdoors.
If you have any other ideas or feedback about places you like to go to have great sex - feel free to comment below.
In light of this - I've put together a list of six hot places to have great sex:
1) Cleanliness is next to Godliness - while it doesn't actually say that anywhere in the Bible, it's still good to be clean. If you have a large enough bathtub - try doing it in a nice warm bath. If you want extra credit - get some candles, maybe some massage oils and rose petals. Just a thought...
2) I don't have a big enough bath tub, bummer. Luckily, I have a hot tub. If you have access to one - well let's just say you can figure out another reason to call it "hot."
3) Get some exercise - try using the exercise bench. An exercise bench offers the right combination of firm and sift and is normally set up at a perfect height for some great sex. Extra points for innovative positions.
4) Chill out - try doing it in front of the fridge. Here's the twist, open the door. The cold air will perk things up and give you the delicious interplay of your hotness with the icy air...
5) Since we're in the kitchen - clear some clutter and put those counter tops to good use. Just remember to clean up when you're finished...
6) For you outdoor lovers - try taking a hike. Scope out park and woodland areas nearby. Chances are, you may be able to find a nice secluded spot where you can really enjoy the great outdoors.
If you have any other ideas or feedback about places you like to go to have great sex - feel free to comment below.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
You Are What You Eat | How To Have Great Sex
"The Thrill is Gone" - a classic song, definitively performed by B.B. King - awesome to listen to - not so great when it describes your love life.
Maybe it's stress or boredom - maybe it's depression, maybe it's your diet. Think about it - you are what you eat - garbage in, garbage out. If you want to know how to have great sex - can a change in your diet help?
There are two sides to this coin - foods/nutrients affect them both, it boils down to your body and your mind. It's been said that your brain is the most important sex organ you have - I believe it to be true. So finding foods and nutrients that stimulate your brain are a good first step.
Here is a list of crucial nutrients that your brain and body need. Whether your intake comes from a balanced diet or nutritional supplements - taken in proper amounts, these should lead to an improved sex life:
B-Complex Vitamins – The B-complex vitamins B-1 (thiamin), B-2 (riboflavin) and B-3 (niacin) are all needed to promote a healthy sex drive.
Vitamin B-1 (thiamin) can be found in grains, asparagus and raw nuts
Vitamin B-2 (riboflavin) is found in asparagus, bananas, broccoli and lean meats.
Vitamin B-3 (niacin) dilates blood vessels, creates better blood flow, it is also important for regulating your sex hormones.
Vitamin C keeps your various sex glands operating smoothly.
Antioxidants help protect your sex organs and the male prostate gland from free radicals.
Vitamin E promotes proper sexual hormone production and improves circulation. It is found in whole grains, fruits and vegetables.
Zinc is needed to produce testosterone, the male sex hormone and can be found in oysters, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, spinach and garlic.
Other valuable nutrients are:
Biotin - promotes normal health for male sex glands.
Folic Acid - maintains the health of sex organ.
Selenium - boosts male potency and overall sex drive.
That's a pretty well-rounded list of nutrients, let's talk about love foods - otherwise known as aphrodisiacs...
Now, some aphrodisiacs simple work because you believe they will. As already stated above, your brain is your most important sex organ. It's powerful. If your brain is convinced that a certain food will turn you into a sex machine, it will. If you think Pringles will fire up your sex drive, chances are they will. It's called the placebo effect - and it is possible to use it to your advantage.
There are other foods that are considered to be aphrodisiacs. Oysters, for instance are a well-known aphrodisiac. They are loaded with zinc. Some theorize that if you are zinc deficient, oysters may replenish your zinc supply and help you feel more sensual.
Serotonin is a chemical produced by your brain. It can boost your desire for great sex. Stress reduces the levels of serotonin in your body. Some studies suggest that low serotonin levels are linked to ejaculation problems and lowered sperm counts.
Combining foods that contain the amino acid tryptophan and certain carbohydrates can decrease stress and boost your serotonin levels. By way of example: 4 - 6 ounces of fish, poultry or lean beef can be served with pasta or bread.
Androsterone is a potent male hormone. Some believe it can attract females. This compound can be found in celery. The thinking is - that when you eat celery, you can release this androsterone in your perspiration after digestion. Women can't typically smell it, at least not consiously - but some odors are sensed subconsciously and women can be attracted to this scent.
According to one study, the smell of pumpkin pie can increase blood flow to the penis.
Now, we've focused a lot on nutrition and foods to help your body and mind. More importantly, remember to pay attention to your partner - make them feel special and adored. Focusing on good nutrition and proper diet can help you set the stage - but if you can make your partner feel like they mean the world to you - they will be more than willing to take part and help you as you learn and explore how to have great sex.
Maybe it's stress or boredom - maybe it's depression, maybe it's your diet. Think about it - you are what you eat - garbage in, garbage out. If you want to know how to have great sex - can a change in your diet help?
There are two sides to this coin - foods/nutrients affect them both, it boils down to your body and your mind. It's been said that your brain is the most important sex organ you have - I believe it to be true. So finding foods and nutrients that stimulate your brain are a good first step.
Here is a list of crucial nutrients that your brain and body need. Whether your intake comes from a balanced diet or nutritional supplements - taken in proper amounts, these should lead to an improved sex life:
B-Complex Vitamins – The B-complex vitamins B-1 (thiamin), B-2 (riboflavin) and B-3 (niacin) are all needed to promote a healthy sex drive.
Vitamin B-1 (thiamin) can be found in grains, asparagus and raw nuts
Vitamin B-2 (riboflavin) is found in asparagus, bananas, broccoli and lean meats.
Vitamin B-3 (niacin) dilates blood vessels, creates better blood flow, it is also important for regulating your sex hormones.
Vitamin C keeps your various sex glands operating smoothly.
Antioxidants help protect your sex organs and the male prostate gland from free radicals.
Vitamin E promotes proper sexual hormone production and improves circulation. It is found in whole grains, fruits and vegetables.
Zinc is needed to produce testosterone, the male sex hormone and can be found in oysters, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, spinach and garlic.
Other valuable nutrients are:
Biotin - promotes normal health for male sex glands.
Folic Acid - maintains the health of sex organ.
Selenium - boosts male potency and overall sex drive.
That's a pretty well-rounded list of nutrients, let's talk about love foods - otherwise known as aphrodisiacs...
Now, some aphrodisiacs simple work because you believe they will. As already stated above, your brain is your most important sex organ. It's powerful. If your brain is convinced that a certain food will turn you into a sex machine, it will. If you think Pringles will fire up your sex drive, chances are they will. It's called the placebo effect - and it is possible to use it to your advantage.
There are other foods that are considered to be aphrodisiacs. Oysters, for instance are a well-known aphrodisiac. They are loaded with zinc. Some theorize that if you are zinc deficient, oysters may replenish your zinc supply and help you feel more sensual.
Serotonin is a chemical produced by your brain. It can boost your desire for great sex. Stress reduces the levels of serotonin in your body. Some studies suggest that low serotonin levels are linked to ejaculation problems and lowered sperm counts.
Combining foods that contain the amino acid tryptophan and certain carbohydrates can decrease stress and boost your serotonin levels. By way of example: 4 - 6 ounces of fish, poultry or lean beef can be served with pasta or bread.
Androsterone is a potent male hormone. Some believe it can attract females. This compound can be found in celery. The thinking is - that when you eat celery, you can release this androsterone in your perspiration after digestion. Women can't typically smell it, at least not consiously - but some odors are sensed subconsciously and women can be attracted to this scent.
According to one study, the smell of pumpkin pie can increase blood flow to the penis.
Now, we've focused a lot on nutrition and foods to help your body and mind. More importantly, remember to pay attention to your partner - make them feel special and adored. Focusing on good nutrition and proper diet can help you set the stage - but if you can make your partner feel like they mean the world to you - they will be more than willing to take part and help you as you learn and explore how to have great sex.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
7 Lovemaking Mistakes That Couples Make
How to avoid those mistakes and have great sex
Did you know that people who try to spice up their lovemaking, often make their experiences LESS fulfilling? It’s true.
Over the years, I've seen couples make the same mistakes over and over again, when trying to improve their love lives by learning more about how to have great sex, and I'd like to teach you how to overcome and avoid these problems.
Here are the 7 lovemaking mistakes. Are you making any of them?
MISTAKE #1: Feeling scared or embarrassed to talk about trying new things
Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid of what your partner may think?
Believe it or not, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they're just as uncomfortable or embarrassed about bringing it up as you are.
And you don't need to introduce whips, chains or a third person. That's nonsense! There are hundreds of ways to bring variety to your passionate play that aren't crude or dangerous and that your partner is sure to be comfortable with.
MISTAKE #2: Trying to convince the partner to make love
If your lover is tired or not in the mood for sex, trying to convince or persuade them to have sex almost NEVER works.
On the other hand, when a person is sexually aroused, their body releases the chemical 'adrenaline' into the bloodstream. This chemical is what gives you the energy to make love. So here's how to arouse them the right way. Yes, even if
they're tired.
Ladies: Want to get him in the mood? Give him fellatio or manually stroke him between 9 & 10 in the morning. This is when his testosterone levels are highest for the day. For better results, also wear something sexy or nothing at all. He'll like that.
Lads: Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest 'turn-ons' for women. Looking in her eyes and touching her face while kissing her can really increase arousal, too. And give some attention to her neck it will drive her wild. But don't rush this! Spend quality time building up her arousal with your sensual kisses.
MISTAKE #3: Neglecting foreplay to enjoy intercourse sooner
People in a relationship (especially men) tend to neglect foreplay so they can begin to enjoy intercourse sooner, but did you know that foreplay is actually said to intensify orgasms?
That's right. If you kiss, caress and touch longer, you can make your lovemaking even more satisfying.
So SLOW DOWN. Take your time. If you want to make it even better, tease your partner in a playful way. (This works like crazy.)
If you find something that they really enjoy, stop doing it, move back, and then do it again later. The more you pull back and push forward, the more they'll want it. And the more intense their experience will be. There are many games you can play to heighten this anticipation, too.
MISTAKE #4: Using toys or porn to make your lovemaking better
When sex hits a rough patch, many couples (men especially) think that a video, some plastic or vibrating thingy will instantly takes things through the roof.
Wrong!… While toys can certainly have their place in your lovemaking repertoire, relying on them can be extremely dangerous. These outside sources of pleasure can quickly make lovemaking even less fulfilling.
Why? Because you don't want your partner to end up looking forward to their plastic toy for pleasure more than they look forward to pleasure with you, do you? Couples need to first fully discover how to please all their spouses' body parts before
introducing other elements. Use them as a spice, not the main course.
MISTAKE #5: Trying to make the woman orgasm ONLY from intercourse
Men often feel "unmanly" if they can't satisfy their woman from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of women can't achieve orgasm through normal lovemaking.
Just knowing this takes the pressure off men completely. Now there's no need to get upset when their women don’t reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus (going down on a woman).
MISTAKE #6: Trying to “finish” at the same time
Simultaneous orgasms are quite overrated. Instead of aiming for one orgasm that you share together, focus completely on the woman’s needs first.
Hold off from the positions you find most enjoyable and instead make love in ways that are most pleasurable for your lady, until she is completely satisfied. That way you have a much greater chance of both climaxing.
MISTAKE #7: Sticking to a “set routine” too often
You know the drill. You take your clothes off, insert part A into part B, and, within a few minutes, the routine is over. Sound familiar?
No matter how fantastic lovemaking can be, there’s no denying it can get boring over the years. And the reason is because lovemaking in its basic act is always the same. But the danger is letting it get “too routine,” which can begin to affect your
relationship.
The BEST WAY to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal.
That's the secret.
In fact, when you have an abundance of NEW tips and techniques ready, you’ll enjoy more hot, steamy and passionate lovemaking, discover newfound enthusiasm to make love and even make love more often.
Today's Recommended Resource:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure and intimacy to your experience. To find out even more about how to have great sex, check out these Mind Blowing Tips:
Did you know that people who try to spice up their lovemaking, often make their experiences LESS fulfilling? It’s true.
Over the years, I've seen couples make the same mistakes over and over again, when trying to improve their love lives by learning more about how to have great sex, and I'd like to teach you how to overcome and avoid these problems.
Here are the 7 lovemaking mistakes. Are you making any of them?
MISTAKE #1: Feeling scared or embarrassed to talk about trying new things
Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid of what your partner may think?
Believe it or not, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they're just as uncomfortable or embarrassed about bringing it up as you are.
And you don't need to introduce whips, chains or a third person. That's nonsense! There are hundreds of ways to bring variety to your passionate play that aren't crude or dangerous and that your partner is sure to be comfortable with.
MISTAKE #2: Trying to convince the partner to make love
If your lover is tired or not in the mood for sex, trying to convince or persuade them to have sex almost NEVER works.
On the other hand, when a person is sexually aroused, their body releases the chemical 'adrenaline' into the bloodstream. This chemical is what gives you the energy to make love. So here's how to arouse them the right way. Yes, even if
they're tired.
Ladies: Want to get him in the mood? Give him fellatio or manually stroke him between 9 & 10 in the morning. This is when his testosterone levels are highest for the day. For better results, also wear something sexy or nothing at all. He'll like that.
Lads: Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest 'turn-ons' for women. Looking in her eyes and touching her face while kissing her can really increase arousal, too. And give some attention to her neck it will drive her wild. But don't rush this! Spend quality time building up her arousal with your sensual kisses.
MISTAKE #3: Neglecting foreplay to enjoy intercourse sooner
People in a relationship (especially men) tend to neglect foreplay so they can begin to enjoy intercourse sooner, but did you know that foreplay is actually said to intensify orgasms?
That's right. If you kiss, caress and touch longer, you can make your lovemaking even more satisfying.
So SLOW DOWN. Take your time. If you want to make it even better, tease your partner in a playful way. (This works like crazy.)
If you find something that they really enjoy, stop doing it, move back, and then do it again later. The more you pull back and push forward, the more they'll want it. And the more intense their experience will be. There are many games you can play to heighten this anticipation, too.
MISTAKE #4: Using toys or porn to make your lovemaking better
When sex hits a rough patch, many couples (men especially) think that a video, some plastic or vibrating thingy will instantly takes things through the roof.
Wrong!… While toys can certainly have their place in your lovemaking repertoire, relying on them can be extremely dangerous. These outside sources of pleasure can quickly make lovemaking even less fulfilling.
Why? Because you don't want your partner to end up looking forward to their plastic toy for pleasure more than they look forward to pleasure with you, do you? Couples need to first fully discover how to please all their spouses' body parts before
introducing other elements. Use them as a spice, not the main course.
MISTAKE #5: Trying to make the woman orgasm ONLY from intercourse
Men often feel "unmanly" if they can't satisfy their woman from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of women can't achieve orgasm through normal lovemaking.
Just knowing this takes the pressure off men completely. Now there's no need to get upset when their women don’t reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus (going down on a woman).
MISTAKE #6: Trying to “finish” at the same time
Simultaneous orgasms are quite overrated. Instead of aiming for one orgasm that you share together, focus completely on the woman’s needs first.
Hold off from the positions you find most enjoyable and instead make love in ways that are most pleasurable for your lady, until she is completely satisfied. That way you have a much greater chance of both climaxing.
MISTAKE #7: Sticking to a “set routine” too often
You know the drill. You take your clothes off, insert part A into part B, and, within a few minutes, the routine is over. Sound familiar?
No matter how fantastic lovemaking can be, there’s no denying it can get boring over the years. And the reason is because lovemaking in its basic act is always the same. But the danger is letting it get “too routine,” which can begin to affect your
relationship.
The BEST WAY to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal.
That's the secret.
In fact, when you have an abundance of NEW tips and techniques ready, you’ll enjoy more hot, steamy and passionate lovemaking, discover newfound enthusiasm to make love and even make love more often.
Today's Recommended Resource:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure and intimacy to your experience. To find out even more about how to have great sex, check out these Mind Blowing Tips:
Friday, January 11, 2008
Finally - Some Great Sex Games
After searching long and hard for ways to have great sex, I believe I've finally found a solution to less than desirable passion and intimacy in the bedroom.
If you feel like it's getting harder and harder to keep the passion alive in your lovemaking, then you're not alone.
Like you, new positions or techniques that I tried would become ordinary and normal again within a few sessions of making love.
It's as if the longer I've been together with my partner, the quicker new ideas become routine! Sound familiar?
I knew there had to be a better way to keep the magic alive long-term. So recently, I searched the Internet and I found the solution in a book called:
“100 Sex Games For Couples.”
I was pleasantly surprised by the originality and fun of this book and how much it helped to spice up our lovemaking.
These games will get you kissing, touching and laughing a lot. I honestly thought this book would contain a lot of games I already knew from surfing the net, but it was actually the opposite. They were creative, tasteful and fun enough to play over and over again.
I don't know how the author came up with these, but they're amazing!
I was surprised that such a simple book about nothing more than “games” could actually bring us closer as a couple. And for that I'm very grateful. Actually, we're spending more time together and going to see theatre and galleries in the city like we used to!
It's a great feeling.
I guess this book really opened my eyes and reminded me that my partner is so precious and that time together should be spent to the fullest.
I highly recommend this book to couples that want to create something extra special in their relationships. If you like the sound of adventure and fun in your lovemaking, if you'd like to find out more about how to have great sex - then this book is for you.
For more information on this book visit...
100 Great Sex Games
If you feel like it's getting harder and harder to keep the passion alive in your lovemaking, then you're not alone.
Like you, new positions or techniques that I tried would become ordinary and normal again within a few sessions of making love.
It's as if the longer I've been together with my partner, the quicker new ideas become routine! Sound familiar?
I knew there had to be a better way to keep the magic alive long-term. So recently, I searched the Internet and I found the solution in a book called:
“100 Sex Games For Couples.”
I was pleasantly surprised by the originality and fun of this book and how much it helped to spice up our lovemaking.
These games will get you kissing, touching and laughing a lot. I honestly thought this book would contain a lot of games I already knew from surfing the net, but it was actually the opposite. They were creative, tasteful and fun enough to play over and over again.
I don't know how the author came up with these, but they're amazing!
I was surprised that such a simple book about nothing more than “games” could actually bring us closer as a couple. And for that I'm very grateful. Actually, we're spending more time together and going to see theatre and galleries in the city like we used to!
It's a great feeling.
I guess this book really opened my eyes and reminded me that my partner is so precious and that time together should be spent to the fullest.
I highly recommend this book to couples that want to create something extra special in their relationships. If you like the sound of adventure and fun in your lovemaking, if you'd like to find out more about how to have great sex - then this book is for you.
For more information on this book visit...
100 Great Sex Games
Sunday, January 6, 2008
5 Tips For Learning How To Have Great Sex
Here are five really simple ways to make your lovemaking more hot, steamy and passionate… (Even starting tonight - you could learn how to have great sex from these tips and resources - and really blow your partner's mind...)
1. First things first - find your partner’s “hidden” zones
I call these “hidden” zones because many people forget or don’t realize, that these areas of the body LOVE attention.
While many of these zones are obvious, like the lips, breasts, inner thighs and genitals, there are also areas that, when stroked, caressed and kissed, can drive your partner wild and even lead to a more intense orgasm.
Believe it or not, the ears, neck, arms and hair are all really sensitive areas that love to be stimulated. Spend some extra time during foreplay caressing and touching these areas, and notice how it pleases your partner.
2. Create a romantic mood
People often think that using candles, music, incense and even rose petals to set the mood for your lovemaking is too “cliché.” Seriously? Believe it or not - your partner will LOVE YOU for this.
Just imagine how happy you would feel if someone went to all the trouble to create a special lovemaking occasion that you can cherish for years to come. Could this be so “cliché” because people actually enjoy it so much? Point made.
3. Give them a sensual massage
Don't just stop at setting the mood. Take it one step further and give your partner a sensual massage that makes them feel relaxed and loved at the same time. Make it sexy, sensual, and pleasurable.
Massage them naked or build up the anticipation by having them slowly undress during the massage. Then kiss, caress and slowly transition “between the sheets” where a massage of another kind can take place.
And no, you don’t need years of study to give a great massage. Just grab some candles and music, and bless your partner with a hands-on experience they’ll never forget.
4. Please your partner with more oral sex
Did you know that oral sex is a great way to strengthen your relationship? Think about it. It takes a lot of trust and comfort to let somebody have their mouth down there. Not to mention it’s great for men who want to relax without the pressure to
perform, and for women who can’t reach orgasm from intercourse alone. In short, oral pleasure is an important part of foreplay. Here are some tips for both men and
women.
LADIES: Women often start fellatio by sucking on the penis straight away when, actually, they should start with some playful teasing and soft touches. This will lead to a much more powerful orgasm as it heightens his anticipation.
GENTLEMAN: A mistake men often make is moving their tongue in a thrusting fashion, when stimulating the vagina and clitoris orally. Instead, they should lick it like an ice cream cone. Another great tip to keep things exciting is to write the alphabet around the clitoris with your tongue.
5. Constantly explore and try new things
If I could only give you one piece of advice for better lovemaking, it would be this: become adventurous and creative.
Nothing is stopping you from red-hot passion except your level of creativity. Try a new position, do it somewhere new, or spice up your foreplay with a game.
Let’s face it, the basic act of lovemaking, no matter how hard you try, is always kiss and thrust, but it’s HOW you do it and the way you make your partner feel that really counts.
By dedicating time to finding new things, you can turn ordinary lovemaking into extraordinary lovemaking. This is the sure-fire way to make sure your lovemaking stays passionate, pleasurable, and intimate for years to come.
Recommended Resource:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure and intimacy to your experience. To learn more about how to have great sex, try these 500 Smokin' Hot Tips:
1. First things first - find your partner’s “hidden” zones
I call these “hidden” zones because many people forget or don’t realize, that these areas of the body LOVE attention.
While many of these zones are obvious, like the lips, breasts, inner thighs and genitals, there are also areas that, when stroked, caressed and kissed, can drive your partner wild and even lead to a more intense orgasm.
Believe it or not, the ears, neck, arms and hair are all really sensitive areas that love to be stimulated. Spend some extra time during foreplay caressing and touching these areas, and notice how it pleases your partner.
2. Create a romantic mood
People often think that using candles, music, incense and even rose petals to set the mood for your lovemaking is too “cliché.” Seriously? Believe it or not - your partner will LOVE YOU for this.
Just imagine how happy you would feel if someone went to all the trouble to create a special lovemaking occasion that you can cherish for years to come. Could this be so “cliché” because people actually enjoy it so much? Point made.
3. Give them a sensual massage
Don't just stop at setting the mood. Take it one step further and give your partner a sensual massage that makes them feel relaxed and loved at the same time. Make it sexy, sensual, and pleasurable.
Massage them naked or build up the anticipation by having them slowly undress during the massage. Then kiss, caress and slowly transition “between the sheets” where a massage of another kind can take place.
And no, you don’t need years of study to give a great massage. Just grab some candles and music, and bless your partner with a hands-on experience they’ll never forget.
4. Please your partner with more oral sex
Did you know that oral sex is a great way to strengthen your relationship? Think about it. It takes a lot of trust and comfort to let somebody have their mouth down there. Not to mention it’s great for men who want to relax without the pressure to
perform, and for women who can’t reach orgasm from intercourse alone. In short, oral pleasure is an important part of foreplay. Here are some tips for both men and
women.
LADIES: Women often start fellatio by sucking on the penis straight away when, actually, they should start with some playful teasing and soft touches. This will lead to a much more powerful orgasm as it heightens his anticipation.
GENTLEMAN: A mistake men often make is moving their tongue in a thrusting fashion, when stimulating the vagina and clitoris orally. Instead, they should lick it like an ice cream cone. Another great tip to keep things exciting is to write the alphabet around the clitoris with your tongue.
5. Constantly explore and try new things
If I could only give you one piece of advice for better lovemaking, it would be this: become adventurous and creative.
Nothing is stopping you from red-hot passion except your level of creativity. Try a new position, do it somewhere new, or spice up your foreplay with a game.
Let’s face it, the basic act of lovemaking, no matter how hard you try, is always kiss and thrust, but it’s HOW you do it and the way you make your partner feel that really counts.
By dedicating time to finding new things, you can turn ordinary lovemaking into extraordinary lovemaking. This is the sure-fire way to make sure your lovemaking stays passionate, pleasurable, and intimate for years to come.
Recommended Resource:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure and intimacy to your experience. To learn more about how to have great sex, try these 500 Smokin' Hot Tips:
Thursday, December 27, 2007
3 Ways To Intensify You Orgasms and Intimacy During Lovemaking
Here's some food for thought - One of the best ways to intensify your orgasms and increase the pleasure of your overall lovemaking experience is by prolonging foreplay.
It's true. And we're not just going to stop with "prolonged foreplay," you're about to learn three additional ways to add new levels of excitement and passion to your lovemaking that will bring you and your partner even closer together. So - in our quest to learn how to have great sex - here we go!
1. Make your foreplay last longer
An extended time of foreplay gives you time to build up sexual anticipation and amplifies your sexual experience. Now, why does this work? Well, partly because it's just human nature. Go back and think about a big event in your life. Maybe it's a party, a holiday, or a major movie launch, chances are - you were so excited by the buildup and buzz that it made the actual experience many times better.
Well, the same rules apply to your love-making. The next time you spend time between the sheets, make a conscious effort to explore your partner’s body. Look lovingly into their eyes, gently run your fingers across their skin and leave a sensual trail of kisses all over their body.
The more time you and your lover spend devoted to foreplay, the greater your sexual experience will be. And if you want to feel even more magic then...
2. Try new things and then add a "twist"
Now don’t get me wrong here, I'm not talking about JUST trying a new lovemaking technique, tip, position or even location. While each of these things would definitely spice things up, you can take your experience up another notch, simply by using a little added creativity.
For example: Why not apply a tip or learn a new technique––then pack a simple picnic and head to a beautiful park for the day. Who knows - you may find a private spot, who knows what might end up happening? :D Going on fun dates like these helps to bring back the magic that made you fall in love in the first place. Want one more hot tip?
3. Become a game player
I'm not talking about head games - I'm talking about tasteful, fun and alluring sex games. They are one of the best ways to intensify orgasms and the entire lovemaking experience. Not only are they extremely fun with a lot of 'replay value,' but they actually accomplish BOTH the previous tips at the same time too!
Because when you play a sex game you…
1. Automatically extend foreplay in a fun and interesting way
2. Try new things that the game tells you to do
And even while some games only consist of familiar tips and moves, you'll be using them in new scenarios, which actually makes them feel new.
Maybe you’ll use a deck of cards or dice to create your own passionate play. Perhaps you’ll adapt a sport game for the bedroom. Or maybe you’ll just want to use your bodies as the props. It doesn’t matter. Simply get excited and unleash some creativity!
So if you want to create a magical experience, remember there’s no better way than playful game that combines both prolonged foreplay and trying new things.
Recommended Resource:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of "100 Sex Games For Couples," a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion and intimacy to your experience. To read more, visit: 100 Great Sex Games - Learn How To Have Great Sex
Friday, December 14, 2007
Rekindle the Magic - How To Have Great Sex...
10 Ways To Rekindle The Magic In Your Relationship
Are you frustrated that your relationship doesn’t have the magic and romance that it once had?
You’re not alone. Living with the same partner for a long time can become stable and comfortable, and, as a result, can also cause the loss of the spark that made your relationship so special in the first place. Here are some simple, fun and creative ideas to reignite that magic:
1. Send them a unique gift at work - Get a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw a bright childlike picture with a smiley sun and two stick figures holding hands. Add labels with your two names pointing to the stick figures. Write ‘I Love You’ inside a heart. Next get a large formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a formal address label of your partner's workplace, such as: “For the immediate and urgent attention of: Rebecca Jones, Level 20, Collins & Smith Solicitors, New York.” Mail it to your partner so they receive it in the middle of a busy day.
2. Become kids again - If you are walking by a park, visit the swings and give your partner a ride. This will often bring back happy memories from their childhood.
3. Fun with water - On a hot summer’s day, buy two large water pistols and take them to the beach with you. Pull them out and throw one to your partner and then have a huge water fight.
4. A massage with a twist - Buy a small, decorated cardboard box, a sheet of colored tissue paper, some massage oil and a blank card. Line the box with the tissue paper. Place the massage oil in the box and write the following message on the card: I know a great masseur. For an appointment call: (Your Phone Number)
5. Bring back childhood memories - Contact your partner's family and ask if there was anything she always wanted when she was a little girl. For example if she always wanted a porcelain doll, buy one for her birthday. She will not only appreciate the gift, but also the fact that you were thoughtful enough to find out what she always wanted. You can do this for your man too.
6. Stare at the clouds - Drive into the country, find a grassy hill, and lie with your partner and look up at the clouds.
7. Go for a walk on the beach - Trace out the shape of a large love heart in the sand. Sit inside the heart and cuddle your partner as you watch the sun go down.
8. Organize a backyard picnic on a warm summer’s night - Spread a picnic blanket on the ground and get together some snacks, chocolates and champagne. Lie down on the blanket with your partner and gaze up at the stars together.
9. Show you’re grateful for your partner - Leave a long-stem rose where your partner will find it, with a note on it saying:
"Thank you for coming into my life."
10. Spice up your lovemaking - Probably the most profound way to rekindle the romance in your relationship is to spice up your lovemaking. Surprise your partner with a little gift after you make love, try a new position, learn to give your partner a sensual massage before or after, or just spend some time staring into each other’s eyes and caressing their bare skin before making love.
Many people underestimate the affect passionate and intimate lovemaking has on a relationship. If you spice it up, chances are you and your partner will naturally do romantic things for each other. Why? Because passionate lovemaking connects two people in a meaningful and unexplainable way that nothing else can.
Recommended Resource:
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure and intimacy to your experience. To read more, visit: 500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets
Friday, December 7, 2007
How To Have Great Sex - Even If You're Married With Children
A Top Ten Tip List for parents who want to know how to have great sex in spite of the kids.
But first, a little background. Look, I'm happily married with children. I think I was warned a few times, but I didn't take anyone seriously. When they said having children would change my sex life - they weren't kidding. I just thought I knew better than anyone else. Boy was I wrong!
I don't know if you, the reader, are married or single - whether or not you have children. But the following information can apply to couples who are simply busy.
You may be facing a few problems. My wife and I come up against opposition to our love life almost everyday.
Sometimes, sex is just the last thing on the to-do list and being last - we don't get to it. Other days, we're too tired and/or it just doesn't seem to be worth the effort. (Okay, that one might apply more to her than to me...)
There have been times when one or more of our kids finds the perfect time to interrupt us, just as we've decided the timing is right. As an aside, I've often wondered if the kids come with a built in mommy/daddy/sex radar - they sense that the mood is right and that's when they decide to "need a drink/need help going potty/have a bad dream, etc." Just wondering...
In any case, if you want to have great sex - you have to be able to find some time and some energy; and you'll need to work on your physical skills as well as your emotional connection.
Guys - it's easy for us to think of sex as a physical act, with little regard to the emotional component. For the lady in our life to respond to our advances, it's important to make sure we're focusing on the emotional connection first. We'll touch on this more in the ten tips that follow...
Ladies - us guys can be pretty thick-headed sometimes. For us , sex is usually more about the physical act and has less to do with the state of our emotions. Even if we've had a bad day - we can forget all about it and be ready for love in minutes, if not seconds...
So without further ado - here is my list of ten tips that will help you learn how to have great sex:
1) Work as a team - whether you're parents or life's just busy; you have responsibilities and roles within your relationship. It may not be possible to split things up 50:50 - but it is important to be clear about expectations. Disappointment, frustration, bitterness and resentment all stem from unmet expectations - so define and divide the responsibilities and roles - and keep the communication lines open. Feeling like you're on the same team can go a long way toward your emotional connection (guys - remember to do anything you can to improve the emotional connection.)
2) Prioritize - Repeat after me... Sex is important and worth the effort... Sex is important and worth the effort... Maybe that's corny - but sex is a way to cement and reinforce your bond - it's energizing and relaxing at the same time. It brings about a sense of well-being and makes you feel good about life in general and more specifically, yourself. You may find yourself thinking it takes too much effort (ladies) however - if you remember that sex strengthens your relationship and a strong relationship make sex easier...which strengthens your relationship...which makes having great sex easier...you get the idea.
3) You don't always have to be "in the mood." (This one gets directed more toward the ladies.) Back in the day, you may have been able to look at your lover and feel aroused. But after a year or two, that usually goes away. It's okay to blame it on the socks that never make it into the hamper, or the mess in his area of the garage - but that stuff didn't always matter. You felt passion without letting those quirks get in the way - you may have even thought the quirks were cute at first. One thing to realize - if you start the physical act, the feelings will follow shortly. To be very blunt - my wife and I still work on this one - she'll go ahead even though she really doesn't "feel" like it - and within minutes the feelings follow and she is wondering why she would hold out on herself (and me.) This can work for guys too - sometimes love boils down to a decision. So decide to engage in something that's healthy for your relationship and know that the feelings will follow.
4) About spontaneity - where exactly is it written that great sex has to be spontaneous? I do like spontaneity, and it was certainly more spontaneous when we were first dating, but that was 10 years and 4 kids ago. Now it takes planning - but isn't it worth planning to have great sex? It may take a date, a mini-moon, creating the right atmosphere, music, candles, babysitters - there are lots of ways to be intentional about spending some time together. And if you're really against planning for it - you can plan for the possibility of a relaxed moment turning into an opportunity for passion. I have been know to have "rancid breath" - so I keep Altoid mints on my side of the headboard. The last thing I want is for the stars and planets to line up and not be able to get a kiss...
5) Know your limits - maybe you've recently had a baby. Even if you're ready for sex, it's going to need to be gentle and tender - guys, you'll have to work at this so she can enjoy without too much exertion. After a few months, you may be ready for more - but again, know your limits and be prepared for coitus interruptus the kids come with radar. As the kids get older and more independent, you'll be able to devote more time and more energy to have great sex.
6) Cuddle Time - For those with children - you can explain to your children that mommy and daddy like to cuddle - just as they like cuddles. They may interrupt you less, without too many uncomfortable questions. Call me a crappy parent, but I have said something like this before - "Daddy and Mommy are having cuddle time, while you're watching your movie - go back and finish the movie and we'll all go for ice-cream afterward. (Bribery does work.)
7) "Do you think I'm sexy?" - Confession time - I've probably gained about 25 pounds since I got married - chalk it up to my wife's great cooking, my own lack of discipline when it comes to exercise. But the net result is, I've got a few curves and handles I didn't used to have. 4 kids later, so does she. We both get bombarded with images of "what's sexy" everyday on TV. What are we supposed to do? Well, we can still call each other as sensual, curvy, softer, full of warmth and depth. Our kids are sensual - they learn a lot about the world through their sense of taste and touch, especially in the early years. We can take a cue from them and approach each other with the same sense of wonder, exploring our own sensuality through our senses of touch and taste. Go ahead - give it a try.
8) Remember not to reduce things to the logistics only. Even if you're planning and putting more energy into setting up opportunities for passion - take time to nurture your relationship. Make foreplay a way of life - and guys, I don't mean foreplay the way you're thinking. Just be kind, be helpful around the house, communicate, leave love notes - or today - text message notes. Be random, be creative - on my wife's last birthday, I sent her about 30 text messages throughout the day - Happy B-Day, I love you, You're beautiful, etc. Guess who got the best birthday present at the end of the day - I think I did. Why? Glad you asked - because the whole day was foreplay to her and she knew I was thinking about her, connecting with her even though I was at work.
9) Call it selfless selfishness - To be able to take care of each other and your kids, you have to take care of yourself. If you're grumpy, tired, and full of resentment - you won't be a good partner and you won't be a good parent. If you know how to have great sex, you'll be more relaxed, more energized and you'll be getting along better with your "teammate." It may seem like having to do more, but I'm trying to help you lighten your load by increasing your level of happiness and satisfaction.
10) Love and enjoy life - have you ever watched kids at play? They approach life differently than we do as adults. They have so much energy and savor every experience - we can learn a lot from them. It is much easier for them to love unconditionally, forgive quickly and pick up the pieces after learning from their mistakes. They bounce back - somehow on the road to adulthood, many of us lose those abilities. If you have kids, try to watch and learn - they love life and enjoy everything. If you can keep the love between you and your partner strong - the kids will see it and that will create a positive feedback loop enhancing the bonds of love within your household.
Bottom line - you can enjoy the benefits of great sex - you can share those same benefits with your partner. If that's not enough, remember that your kids will benefit by seeing their parents happy and in love.
In summary - whether you're married, busy or otherwise: You can have sex, you can have good sex - but wouldn't you rather know how to have great sex? I know my answer to that question, and by following these tips and some of the content further down this blog - I hope you find yourself connecting with your partner on a deeper and more meaningful level.
By the way - my wife and I found these Lovemaking Tips on How to have Great Sex - to be a great place to start spicing things up. Let me know what you think...
Enjoy! - John
But first, a little background. Look, I'm happily married with children. I think I was warned a few times, but I didn't take anyone seriously. When they said having children would change my sex life - they weren't kidding. I just thought I knew better than anyone else. Boy was I wrong!
I don't know if you, the reader, are married or single - whether or not you have children. But the following information can apply to couples who are simply busy.
You may be facing a few problems. My wife and I come up against opposition to our love life almost everyday.
Sometimes, sex is just the last thing on the to-do list and being last - we don't get to it. Other days, we're too tired and/or it just doesn't seem to be worth the effort. (Okay, that one might apply more to her than to me...)
There have been times when one or more of our kids finds the perfect time to interrupt us, just as we've decided the timing is right. As an aside, I've often wondered if the kids come with a built in mommy/daddy/sex radar - they sense that the mood is right and that's when they decide to "need a drink/need help going potty/have a bad dream, etc." Just wondering...
In any case, if you want to have great sex - you have to be able to find some time and some energy; and you'll need to work on your physical skills as well as your emotional connection.
Guys - it's easy for us to think of sex as a physical act, with little regard to the emotional component. For the lady in our life to respond to our advances, it's important to make sure we're focusing on the emotional connection first. We'll touch on this more in the ten tips that follow...
Ladies - us guys can be pretty thick-headed sometimes. For us , sex is usually more about the physical act and has less to do with the state of our emotions. Even if we've had a bad day - we can forget all about it and be ready for love in minutes, if not seconds...
So without further ado - here is my list of ten tips that will help you learn how to have great sex:
1) Work as a team - whether you're parents or life's just busy; you have responsibilities and roles within your relationship. It may not be possible to split things up 50:50 - but it is important to be clear about expectations. Disappointment, frustration, bitterness and resentment all stem from unmet expectations - so define and divide the responsibilities and roles - and keep the communication lines open. Feeling like you're on the same team can go a long way toward your emotional connection (guys - remember to do anything you can to improve the emotional connection.)
2) Prioritize - Repeat after me... Sex is important and worth the effort... Sex is important and worth the effort... Maybe that's corny - but sex is a way to cement and reinforce your bond - it's energizing and relaxing at the same time. It brings about a sense of well-being and makes you feel good about life in general and more specifically, yourself. You may find yourself thinking it takes too much effort (ladies) however - if you remember that sex strengthens your relationship and a strong relationship make sex easier...which strengthens your relationship...which makes having great sex easier...you get the idea.
3) You don't always have to be "in the mood." (This one gets directed more toward the ladies.) Back in the day, you may have been able to look at your lover and feel aroused. But after a year or two, that usually goes away. It's okay to blame it on the socks that never make it into the hamper, or the mess in his area of the garage - but that stuff didn't always matter. You felt passion without letting those quirks get in the way - you may have even thought the quirks were cute at first. One thing to realize - if you start the physical act, the feelings will follow shortly. To be very blunt - my wife and I still work on this one - she'll go ahead even though she really doesn't "feel" like it - and within minutes the feelings follow and she is wondering why she would hold out on herself (and me.) This can work for guys too - sometimes love boils down to a decision. So decide to engage in something that's healthy for your relationship and know that the feelings will follow.
4) About spontaneity - where exactly is it written that great sex has to be spontaneous? I do like spontaneity, and it was certainly more spontaneous when we were first dating, but that was 10 years and 4 kids ago. Now it takes planning - but isn't it worth planning to have great sex? It may take a date, a mini-moon, creating the right atmosphere, music, candles, babysitters - there are lots of ways to be intentional about spending some time together. And if you're really against planning for it - you can plan for the possibility of a relaxed moment turning into an opportunity for passion. I have been know to have "rancid breath" - so I keep Altoid mints on my side of the headboard. The last thing I want is for the stars and planets to line up and not be able to get a kiss...
5) Know your limits - maybe you've recently had a baby. Even if you're ready for sex, it's going to need to be gentle and tender - guys, you'll have to work at this so she can enjoy without too much exertion. After a few months, you may be ready for more - but again, know your limits and be prepared for coitus interruptus the kids come with radar. As the kids get older and more independent, you'll be able to devote more time and more energy to have great sex.
6) Cuddle Time - For those with children - you can explain to your children that mommy and daddy like to cuddle - just as they like cuddles. They may interrupt you less, without too many uncomfortable questions. Call me a crappy parent, but I have said something like this before - "Daddy and Mommy are having cuddle time, while you're watching your movie - go back and finish the movie and we'll all go for ice-cream afterward. (Bribery does work.)
7) "Do you think I'm sexy?" - Confession time - I've probably gained about 25 pounds since I got married - chalk it up to my wife's great cooking, my own lack of discipline when it comes to exercise. But the net result is, I've got a few curves and handles I didn't used to have. 4 kids later, so does she. We both get bombarded with images of "what's sexy" everyday on TV. What are we supposed to do? Well, we can still call each other as sensual, curvy, softer, full of warmth and depth. Our kids are sensual - they learn a lot about the world through their sense of taste and touch, especially in the early years. We can take a cue from them and approach each other with the same sense of wonder, exploring our own sensuality through our senses of touch and taste. Go ahead - give it a try.
8) Remember not to reduce things to the logistics only. Even if you're planning and putting more energy into setting up opportunities for passion - take time to nurture your relationship. Make foreplay a way of life - and guys, I don't mean foreplay the way you're thinking. Just be kind, be helpful around the house, communicate, leave love notes - or today - text message notes. Be random, be creative - on my wife's last birthday, I sent her about 30 text messages throughout the day - Happy B-Day, I love you, You're beautiful, etc. Guess who got the best birthday present at the end of the day - I think I did. Why? Glad you asked - because the whole day was foreplay to her and she knew I was thinking about her, connecting with her even though I was at work.
9) Call it selfless selfishness - To be able to take care of each other and your kids, you have to take care of yourself. If you're grumpy, tired, and full of resentment - you won't be a good partner and you won't be a good parent. If you know how to have great sex, you'll be more relaxed, more energized and you'll be getting along better with your "teammate." It may seem like having to do more, but I'm trying to help you lighten your load by increasing your level of happiness and satisfaction.
10) Love and enjoy life - have you ever watched kids at play? They approach life differently than we do as adults. They have so much energy and savor every experience - we can learn a lot from them. It is much easier for them to love unconditionally, forgive quickly and pick up the pieces after learning from their mistakes. They bounce back - somehow on the road to adulthood, many of us lose those abilities. If you have kids, try to watch and learn - they love life and enjoy everything. If you can keep the love between you and your partner strong - the kids will see it and that will create a positive feedback loop enhancing the bonds of love within your household.
Bottom line - you can enjoy the benefits of great sex - you can share those same benefits with your partner. If that's not enough, remember that your kids will benefit by seeing their parents happy and in love.
In summary - whether you're married, busy or otherwise: You can have sex, you can have good sex - but wouldn't you rather know how to have great sex? I know my answer to that question, and by following these tips and some of the content further down this blog - I hope you find yourself connecting with your partner on a deeper and more meaningful level.
By the way - my wife and I found these Lovemaking Tips on How to have Great Sex - to be a great place to start spicing things up. Let me know what you think...
Enjoy! - John
Friday, November 30, 2007
Can Married Christians Learn How To Have Great Sex?
Back in February of this year, FOX news reported on a Lutheran pastor in the Detroit area who kicked off a series of sermons about "How To Have Great Sex," for Lent. In and of itself, that is pretty newsworthy, but get this - the title of the first sermon in the series was, "The Greatest Sex You'll Ever Have."
Pack my bags - I'm switchin' churches...
Seriously though, it got a few people riled up - but I think Pastor Tim Kade had good intentions and made some valid points. He was quoted as saying, "Sex wasn't invented in a dark alley behind a porn shop," in a statement dated Feb. 20. "It's part of God's design and the Bible is very open and frank about sexual matters.
He's right, if you're in doubt - try reading "Song of Songs" also known as "Song of Solomon"...
The sermons and the promotional materials touched on themes like: frustration, boredom, loneliness, despair, jealousy, and adultery. Bottom line - it got me thinking. I don't like conflict or confrontation. It's easy to bottle up conversations about sex, but that can lead to bigger problems.
Over time, married couples get comfortable - even a little bit lazy. Marriage takes work and effort is required to keep the flame of love burning. I wanted to find a way to keep our conversation lines open and spice things up a bit.
I looked around on the internet, but you can probably imagine the amount of porn and garbage that's our there. I found some helpful information that was free, but the old saying is true - you do get what you pay for.
I managed to find the perfect solution for us - a program designed to turn me into a husband who knows how to have great sex.
Some parts I already knew, other parts really helped me step my game up a few notches. You'd be surprised how motivating and rewarding it can be to get a refresher. And it didn't have to clash with my values. I hope you take the opportunity to learn how to have great sex too.
John
Pack my bags - I'm switchin' churches...
Seriously though, it got a few people riled up - but I think Pastor Tim Kade had good intentions and made some valid points. He was quoted as saying, "Sex wasn't invented in a dark alley behind a porn shop," in a statement dated Feb. 20. "It's part of God's design and the Bible is very open and frank about sexual matters.
He's right, if you're in doubt - try reading "Song of Songs" also known as "Song of Solomon"...
The sermons and the promotional materials touched on themes like: frustration, boredom, loneliness, despair, jealousy, and adultery. Bottom line - it got me thinking. I don't like conflict or confrontation. It's easy to bottle up conversations about sex, but that can lead to bigger problems.
Over time, married couples get comfortable - even a little bit lazy. Marriage takes work and effort is required to keep the flame of love burning. I wanted to find a way to keep our conversation lines open and spice things up a bit.
I looked around on the internet, but you can probably imagine the amount of porn and garbage that's our there. I found some helpful information that was free, but the old saying is true - you do get what you pay for.
I managed to find the perfect solution for us - a program designed to turn me into a husband who knows how to have great sex.
Some parts I already knew, other parts really helped me step my game up a few notches. You'd be surprised how motivating and rewarding it can be to get a refresher. And it didn't have to clash with my values. I hope you take the opportunity to learn how to have great sex too.
John
Thursday, November 15, 2007
How to Have Great Sex - Even If You've Been Married for awhile
Let me start this post by saying I'm happily married, have been for many years. While having great sex isn't the only thing - it's still an important part of marriage. In my quest to keep the fire burning, I'm learning about how to have great sex and how to apply that knowledge in marriage.
After 30 years of marriage, Sue Johanson - host of Talk Sex offers the following advice:
It's important to learn how to have great sex when you're in a long term relationship. I've gathered some additional suggestions if you're looking for ways to spice up things in the bedroom:
Consider trying a sampler kit of various lubricants
Take dancing lessons
Find erotica that suits you and read to each other
When you're not in the mood - breathe, relax, reconnect, remember and let go - allow me to expand on those:
Breathe - quiet your mind, slow down, focusing on your breathing can help you shut out the rest of the world. This is "we" time.
Relax - Get or give a massage, listen to soothing music, hold each other in a nonsexual way - if you want to have great sex, there should be no pressure.
Reconnect - life gets in the way, maybe bitterness or resentment, friends, work, in-laws - the list is practically endless - to enjoy great sex with your spouse, you have to be able to connect with the love you have for them. It may help to...
Remember - maybe life has been hard and dealt you some bad cards, but - there's a reason you fell in love in the first place; remembering the good times can help you reconnect and stay connected.
Let go - If you're like me, you have a busy life, full of things you have to do, things you know you should do - maybe you even worry about your performance from time to time. It's easier said than done - but letting go of that sort of pressure will help you learn how to have great sex.
If you are looking for more ways to improve your love life - I found these Lovemaking Tips on How to have Great Sex - to be very helpful.
Take care,
John Simple
After 30 years of marriage, Sue Johanson - host of Talk Sex offers the following advice:
Talk about cellulite. Talk about wrinkles. Ignoring changes in your body won't make them go away.
Dress up like Tarzan. Or a nurse. No one else will know.
Guess what? Many older couples don't like penetration. Luckily it's not the only way to have fun.
Do the dishes naked.
Waiting until you're in the mood is baloney. Try going along with your partner when you don't feel like it. You might be surprised.
Take a vacation. It's amazing what happens in Nassau.
---------------------------------------------------------It's important to learn how to have great sex when you're in a long term relationship. I've gathered some additional suggestions if you're looking for ways to spice up things in the bedroom:
Consider trying a sampler kit of various lubricants
Take dancing lessons
Find erotica that suits you and read to each other
When you're not in the mood - breathe, relax, reconnect, remember and let go - allow me to expand on those:
Breathe - quiet your mind, slow down, focusing on your breathing can help you shut out the rest of the world. This is "we" time.
Relax - Get or give a massage, listen to soothing music, hold each other in a nonsexual way - if you want to have great sex, there should be no pressure.
Reconnect - life gets in the way, maybe bitterness or resentment, friends, work, in-laws - the list is practically endless - to enjoy great sex with your spouse, you have to be able to connect with the love you have for them. It may help to...
Remember - maybe life has been hard and dealt you some bad cards, but - there's a reason you fell in love in the first place; remembering the good times can help you reconnect and stay connected.
Let go - If you're like me, you have a busy life, full of things you have to do, things you know you should do - maybe you even worry about your performance from time to time. It's easier said than done - but letting go of that sort of pressure will help you learn how to have great sex.
If you are looking for more ways to improve your love life - I found these Lovemaking Tips on How to have Great Sex - to be very helpful.
Take care,
John Simple
Monday, August 27, 2007
"How To Have Great Sex"
It's been said, "everyone wants to know how to have great sex," but how do you learn it?
That's a complicated question, and the answer involves several components. Can I give the one right answer for you? Probably not, but I can point you in a few directions and get you thinking along the right lines.
First off, you can't force sex. That can be a tough one for guys - I know - I'm a guy. Sometimes, I want what I want and I try to pressure and manipulate my way in. But that's not the answer. If you're going to learn how to have great sex, you have to realize that great sex is allowed to happen, not forced or coerced.
Secondly, attitude is key. Holding on to any guilt or judgments, hang-ups or self consciousness will take away from the pleasure of the experience. Be "in the moment," that means letting go of to-do's and allowwing yourself to fully experience the physical, mental and spiritual connections brought about by truly great sex.
Next, connection, communication and trust - you have a need to feel safe and secure. Trust in your relationship allows you to open up and really communicate with your partner. It's okay to ask for what you want, verbalize your desires - your relationship should be a safe place for that.
Keep a short list of wrongdoings - to maintain a long-term relationship, you'll need a short-term memory in the bedroom.
Keep the desire burning - if you've been in your relationship for awhile, you probably know what I'm talking about. The initial passion has probably been slowly replaced with chores and grocery lists and mundane tasks - the romance and excitement can quickly slip away. The original desire is still there to tap into, but how? Sometimes you can find triggers, ways to "trick" your brain back to the original feelings - maybe repeating a date from your early past - maybe even something as simple as taking a walk, or going for some tea/coffee.
Accept/love yourself - Okay - so I've gained 25 pounds over the years. If I believe all of the spam I get in my inbox - my "unit" is too small and I desperately need enlargement pills or little blue pills - whatever! You know what - I'm fine - I like myself, maybe there's room for improvement, but I'm okay. And if I go into the bedroom with some confidence instead of self-loathing, she'll respond to the confidence and know that I know how to have great sex.
Try some adventure - Maybe you're inhibited, but seriously - what's really holding you back? Wouldn't it be neat to have your partner respond with - "You want to do what? Right On!" If you take yourself too seriously in the bedroom, you may be missing out on some fun. Maybe you have a fantasy, maybe your partner does. Share those, take some risks - be creative, experiment.
Foreplay and afterplay - it doesn't have to start in the bedroom. Foreplay can begin long before you get to the bedroom - and it doesn't have to be about feeling someone up. It can be verbal foreplay or even something like sharing a mundane chore. Afterplay is important too. Guys, once we're done, it's easy to jump out of bed and go on to the next thing - but staying for a few minutes to cuddle will help cement the connection between you and your lover.
Safe Sex - do I really need to say more on this?
About Stress - everyone needs time to "decompress" before they can get turned on. Maybe a bath, or some time in a hot tub. You can try aroma-therapy, candles, massage - anything to help you relax, de-stress and reconnect.
Get in shape - stay in shape - People who know how to have great sex and do it on a regular basis have less stress and suffer from depression less - but you need energy, stamina and plenty of sleep. Get plenty of exercise (3-4 times a week), eat right, and get enough sleep.
If you follow these tips - you'll find yourself becoming an expert at how to have great sex in no time.
That's a complicated question, and the answer involves several components. Can I give the one right answer for you? Probably not, but I can point you in a few directions and get you thinking along the right lines.
First off, you can't force sex. That can be a tough one for guys - I know - I'm a guy. Sometimes, I want what I want and I try to pressure and manipulate my way in. But that's not the answer. If you're going to learn how to have great sex, you have to realize that great sex is allowed to happen, not forced or coerced.
Secondly, attitude is key. Holding on to any guilt or judgments, hang-ups or self consciousness will take away from the pleasure of the experience. Be "in the moment," that means letting go of to-do's and allowwing yourself to fully experience the physical, mental and spiritual connections brought about by truly great sex.
Next, connection, communication and trust - you have a need to feel safe and secure. Trust in your relationship allows you to open up and really communicate with your partner. It's okay to ask for what you want, verbalize your desires - your relationship should be a safe place for that.
Keep a short list of wrongdoings - to maintain a long-term relationship, you'll need a short-term memory in the bedroom.
Keep the desire burning - if you've been in your relationship for awhile, you probably know what I'm talking about. The initial passion has probably been slowly replaced with chores and grocery lists and mundane tasks - the romance and excitement can quickly slip away. The original desire is still there to tap into, but how? Sometimes you can find triggers, ways to "trick" your brain back to the original feelings - maybe repeating a date from your early past - maybe even something as simple as taking a walk, or going for some tea/coffee.
Accept/love yourself - Okay - so I've gained 25 pounds over the years. If I believe all of the spam I get in my inbox - my "unit" is too small and I desperately need enlargement pills or little blue pills - whatever! You know what - I'm fine - I like myself, maybe there's room for improvement, but I'm okay. And if I go into the bedroom with some confidence instead of self-loathing, she'll respond to the confidence and know that I know how to have great sex.
Try some adventure - Maybe you're inhibited, but seriously - what's really holding you back? Wouldn't it be neat to have your partner respond with - "You want to do what? Right On!" If you take yourself too seriously in the bedroom, you may be missing out on some fun. Maybe you have a fantasy, maybe your partner does. Share those, take some risks - be creative, experiment.
Foreplay and afterplay - it doesn't have to start in the bedroom. Foreplay can begin long before you get to the bedroom - and it doesn't have to be about feeling someone up. It can be verbal foreplay or even something like sharing a mundane chore. Afterplay is important too. Guys, once we're done, it's easy to jump out of bed and go on to the next thing - but staying for a few minutes to cuddle will help cement the connection between you and your lover.
Safe Sex - do I really need to say more on this?
About Stress - everyone needs time to "decompress" before they can get turned on. Maybe a bath, or some time in a hot tub. You can try aroma-therapy, candles, massage - anything to help you relax, de-stress and reconnect.
Get in shape - stay in shape - People who know how to have great sex and do it on a regular basis have less stress and suffer from depression less - but you need energy, stamina and plenty of sleep. Get plenty of exercise (3-4 times a week), eat right, and get enough sleep.
If you follow these tips - you'll find yourself becoming an expert at how to have great sex in no time.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Seven Secrets to Great Sex - Part 1
I found a couple of informative and entertaining clips and I'd like to share them with you. These tips should help you in your quest to know more about how to have great sex. I've re-capped the content with some notes below:
1) Move - be active in bed - don't just lie there.
2) Spend more time on foreplay
3) Work those muscles - do the flutter, clench and hold - strengthen those pelvic muscles to go from good sex to knowing how to have great sex.
The post below will continue with the rest of the seven secrets - soon you'll know more about how to have great sex. Thanks for watching :)
1) Move - be active in bed - don't just lie there.
2) Spend more time on foreplay
3) Work those muscles - do the flutter, clench and hold - strengthen those pelvic muscles to go from good sex to knowing how to have great sex.
The post below will continue with the rest of the seven secrets - soon you'll know more about how to have great sex. Thanks for watching :)
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